Saturday, 21 July 2018

Venice in Italy Tarot reminding me not to come at a situation at work with arrogance and narcissism

Venice in Italy Tarot reminding me not to come at a situation at work with arrogance, and narcissism. There is enough for everybody to go around. Be more gentle, and giving. Surrender is the path to survival. Be happy, and realise how happy you are. You CHOOSE to be bothered by things, and stress yourself. Choose not to be bothered by anything.
Feel a bit low. Depressed. Grateful for my job, and chance to reduce my credit card debt by almost £500 a month. Say yes and surrender to everything at work. White flag all the time. Let nothing jeopardise my job.

Sunday, 15 July 2018

10PM gently raining outside all night. Just a 5-pint session in the Calcutta today. Again no one of any note seen all day

10PM gently raining outside all night. Just a 5-pint session in the Calcutta today. Again no one of any note seen all day. Would I rather spend money on Soho Tina and Beatrice, or save it for Brussels and the cold icy air? But how much more I crave my own little nest again, on a BUS ROUTE to work. That is why I just stayed in the Calcutta. Maybe tomorrow I won't go out at all. Really really clear my room out.
A book that combines everything I have been through, the extreme Eros of my life plus the moths bashing their tiny brains out against me, as I play them like a piano. A great work that combines it all. I still fancy seeing Beatrice again but save it for next week. Maybe late Saturday.

Saturday, 14 July 2018

I only feel real sexual arousal AFTER having done a good long stint of writing. It gets my adrenalin pumping

I only feel real sexual arousal AFTER having done a good long stint of writing. It gets my adrenalin pumping. A story but a guidebook to the fleshpots of Europe, in Vienna the character goes to Manhattan, Tete a Tete, Wahringer Kino, Fortuna Kino, WSK, as well as KHM, Belvedere, St Stephen's and the Butterfly House (with Lotta his 18-year-old Swedish barmaid). Sad sweet encounter. A Young Werther. A Childe Harolde. THE GRAND TOUR. A chapter in each city, and a chapter on each train journey between them, the character's thoughts on stock exchanges, bourses, how they stand for money, for the pound or the euro, and each pound gives you a naked strip, each 25 euros gives you a naked private dance, etc. The eroticism of railway stations, entry points to each city. Hotels. Everything that facilitates the slaking of his erotic lust. And he feels this erotic lust constantly. He always wants new flesh, to see new bosoms, new buttocks.

Work on Twelfth Night and this new story "She rolled a cotton wool bud dipped in champagne around the head of his penis"

Work on Twelfth Night and this new story "She rolled a cotton wool bud dipped in champagne around the head of his penis." A true story but make it a fiction. Spend a week in Brussels in November going on all my pilgrimages, Byron's house, Baudelaire's hotel, the most famous Ball in the World, etc etc. The character in the story is not a diplomat based in that city, but a pilgrim on a European journey to make pilgrimage to his heroes of literature art and music. And has incredible erotic adventures along the way. A Tristram Shandy.


Thursday, 12 July 2018

Ah my lovely bed. And that is all you really need isn't it

Ah, my lovely bed. And that is all you really need isn't it. Lovely bed, laptop, lamp on floor, ferns, classical music. When I look around my room, out of everything my eyes can see what do I ever actually touch or use? Almost nothing. I might as well bin it ALL now, the books, the red dictionary. A Real Person, Thomas Mann, Bradshaws, newspapers, etc etc. The TV, the computer, monitor and keyboard. The music system (defunct). Everything can go. One day this week do that. Everything gone.
Monday I got the 11 o'clock (ten carriages), and got on front for change. Two gorgeous blondes at E-- made it worthwhile being brave, blonde ponytail, tight white shirt, prominent big bosoms the pick of them. I would never have seen her sitting at back of train. Then just had  a 6-pint session in the Calcutta. Didn't see anyone at all I remember. Home for lovely pork chops then sleep. No desire for -- Beatrice, really I keep thinking I need to save my money for when A-- comes back, but now I think I hope I stay away from her as well. Remember the cold icy air of the mountains. Remember the September return to Europe, and that cold icy air. Remember my own nest, lamp on floor, sleep on floor amidst the ferns and classical music. And nothing else.

Could try Zara today or Lolita again. Saw no sexy girls yesterday really

Could try Zara today, or Lolita again. Saw no sexy girls yesterday really. I wanted to see some strippers but Sunset was poor. And I was down because of hangover from earlier of course. Try -- next Saturday I am off.
Really didn’t feel like going out again today. I don't like Sundays after all. Which makes me think it IS better to work weekends! Not bothered about Lolita anymore, not too fussed to see Zara today. So no, no great return to life for Soho then. Good!
Actually better to use up my holiday on Wednesday and Thursdays! Is it? Weekends are so quiet and easy at work. Look forward to getting train to the Calcutta on Monday already. Try Tina Tuesday perhaps. What a pleasure to be sitting downstairs watching Tour de France on the big TV on a Sunday afternoon. *** WORK ON BOOK. Book filled with ferns and classical music, lamps on floor. Strippers on stage in dark basement club. Paperback book.


NONE of the excitement of last Saturday. Empty train to Victoria

NONE of the excitement of last Saturday. Empty train to Victoria, none of the busty teenage girls of last week. Empty carriage when I got to Victoria. No one sexy at Victoria. Just had one pint as I was worried the buses were soon going to stop because of the Pride parade. Had three in Moggs, then went to Lolita. Just handjob only as he lay her head on my shoulder, and kissed my cheek and chest. The more sweet and tender I was with her the more she was with me. Left with my cock sticking up over my belt, she laughing. Not sure I will go back. But interesting I had no desire for sex at all. Knew I would feel nothing so what is the point?
One in Calcutta on way back but then was on way home by 130pm thinking I could then sleep and come back alter. Woke up 630pm heaving and unable to take a breath the WORST EVER. Almost a whole minute of being unable to take an inward breath. Terrifying. Too much chocolate cake before bed.
Still forced myself out to catch 730pm train. Was shocked NO sexy girls, on a Saturday evening? No party girls at all. Bit more talent passing the Calcutta but not much. Think I had four in the Calcutta before going to Sunset. Carmen was pretty but nothing special. Two Peronis then I left and got the 1130pm train home. Home just after midnight.
So going out on a Saturday night not so exciting after all. Not missing much. And it was hellish busy because of Pride of course. Normal Saturday might be better.

Thursday, 5 July 2018

Well had a low key three pints in Calcutta then home, slept a bit, dozed a bit, lovely dream about a resurrected Scotsman

Well, had a low key three pints in Calcutta then home, slept a bit, dozed a bit, lovely dream about a resurrected Scotsman, different lay out though, 10 girls or so, but no sign of stage. Many familiar faces, but one very pretty new girl came to me and complained she had not had a dance in 2 & a half hours, before she changed and left when I was desperate to speak more to her. I woke with an erection but by then I was already thinking of Saturday when I went to Lolita, and Tuesday Tina. Opened eyes just after 5. Should be ferocious rain and thunder when I am coming home tomorrow and turning around to go back to Victoria. By 11 should have passed! Umbrella! Or coat? *****
Can you believe it if Soho was going to come back to some kind of life for me?! Lolita at Romilly, Zara 52 Greek, Tina Newport; maybe a Saturday night Sunset Strip might have ONE sexy girl for me at least; or Beatrice --. Walking from Romilly with cock rolling in my trousers back to Sunset, then back to Romilly again; could these times return?! Oh temptation to pop back to Brussels for ONE NIGHT ONLY just to pop into Cine Paris and Fifth Avenue again and a Friday night Empire to see Jennifer's breasts again. Wonder if I will  be able to resist that end of August trip. Well I have got five days off starting this Saturday!

Christ I cannot believe it I hooked another girl outside the Calcutta!

Christ I cannot believe it I hooked another girl outside the Calcutta! It must have been around 1pm during my fourth pint, one side black bob, long black silk top over black leggings, black T-shirt tight so I could see outline of her bra. Bosoms not huge but prominent. Dark skin, like Persian or something. And out of corner of eye she saw me, then did that so so so so typical thing she started yawning! Always the biggest giveaway, trying to look nonchalant, when in fact her heart was racing. How do I hook girls like this? Are my eyes like lasers? So so pretty, so so sexy. Then she started talking and laughing on her phone again to appear nonchalant. Then I went up to Romilly to check Ruby. Pretty girl, hair pulled right back, glasses, laughing, giggling when she said 10 minutes, I said I will wait 11 minutes, she thought that very funny. I left and just came back for two more in the Calcutta.

Wednesday, 4 July 2018

Remember if do go to Victoria go into M&S. Watching some massage videos this morning how much I yearned for a Chinese massage again

Remember if do go to Victoria go into M&S. Watching some massage videos this morning how much I yearned for a Chinese massage again, no matter how old she was. I remember now, what day was it? I actually went into one to ask the prices, oh I think the Charing Cross Road one, so that must have been Wednesday. Can you believe it was only YESTERDAY that I did the Iron Duke and Lolita thing? It seems so momentous it must have been ages ago, but it was just yesterday. Shows how my desires and mind have expanded because of it. So looking forward to going out drinking again these next two days. It is the greatest pleasure of my life. In summer especially.
Start going into MORE Chinese places to ask the prices, just as excuse to ogle the maids!


Tuesday, 3 July 2018

How I wish I could do my -- naked. Still so randy

How I wish I could do my -- naked. Still so randy. How wonderful it was to see those teenage girls running to get on my carriage at --, holding hands to their chests to stop their big breasts bouncing. And the wonderful febrile nubile atmosphere at Victoria, and that lovely big girl who made my cock stir in the Iron Duke. So excited I was on that train into London looking forward to seeing a new girl Lolita. And how wonderful to go up her stairs and have her herself open the door to me, what a beautiful vision, especially when she turned around and I saw that incredible arse. And then that extraordinary huge boobs pizza bar girl in white tight top. What a day. A course changing day.

Christ I am so randy! I had four pints so easily in the Iron Duke and had swelling almost all the time

Christ I am so randy! I had four pints so easily in the Iron Duke, and had swelling almost all the time, first for the voluptuous kitchen girl in blue jeans and black top, then woman at ticket machine in cut-off denim shorts. Then black top girl on bus. Then Lolita oh yes, that arse. Nice enough bosoms, but that arse incredible. Looked then went for one more in the Three Greyhounds (amazingly empty) watching incredible black ponytail white top girl with massive knickers in Pollo Bar cleaning the pizza bar windows. 10 out of 10. Did the £20 deed with Lolita. Got her to undress slowly for me before doggy and then try to finish by hand. I will be back. Suddenly now I want to see Ruby, Jenny, Laura, Roxanne, all of them. She has brought Soho back to life for me. Week days or not.
How good it was to be naked in room again with girl. No problem at all with instant erection before she even came back in. And no PORN CINEMA needed either; the arousal of the train to Victoria, being in the Iron Duke, the bus to Romilly, the girls passing the Three Greyhounds, was MORE THAN ENOUGH to get me super ready for Lolita. Want to go to Zara again now. AND WANT TO SPEND AN HOUR WITH LOLITA! Crazy. Just to enjoy laying with that nubile young girl for an hour. I have found a new star.

Monday, 2 July 2018

START AGAIN. RISE LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE FLAMES AGAIN. IT IS WHAT I ALWAYS DO

START AGAIN. RISE LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE FLAMES AGAIN. IT IS WHAT I ALWAYS DO.
ALL THAT MATTERS IS PORNOGRAPHY. RETREATING VERY SMALL & HUMBLE AGAIN. FERNS AND CLASSICAL MUSIC.

Sunday, 1 July 2018

NOTHING THAT HAPPENS AT WORK IS IMPORTANT. IT IS ONLY PUBLISHING MY BLOGS, MY DIARIES FROM 1997 AND 2007 AND MY TRAVEL DIARIES

NOTHING THAT HAPPENS AT WORK IS IMPORTANT. IT IS ONLY PUBLISHING MY BLOGS, MY DIARIES FROM 1997 AND 2007, AND MY TRAVEL DIARIES. Documenting my life like Samuel Pepys and C.P.Cavafy.
Turn my life into Historical Record, historical document. With maps and charts and dates and statistics. Mythologise myself. Like I was documenting some other great man. Hagiography of self.
So I did it, I went out and had four lunchtime pints in the Calcutta--and I loved it! So MANY sexy girls, big bosoms, big arses, beautiful faces. Black hair, red top, pale blue jeans massive arse. The beige top black girl with glasses and massive zeppelins and low cut top deep deep cleavage, smiling as she knew I wanted her. So many others. Funny Lucia behind bar doing stocktaking or something ignored me throughout being served all 4 times. Yes, I think maybe these lunchtime drinks will become a habit? So tempted to go on Saturday to check out this Romilly Street Lolita as well.

Saturday, 30 June 2018

Just to be alone at home with my computer and the rain pouring outside, the simple pleasures. Nothing greater than this

Just to be alone at home with my computer, and the rain pouring outside, the simple pleasures. Nothing greater than this. 252AM. Be grateful you are not like the --s of this world. The K--s! People respect you for the way you are. Keep to your path.
Just keep working hard, month after month, and the debt will slowly come down. Keep going out to the London pubs on my days off because that is where the pleasure is, that is what I work for. To sit in pub watching sexy girls bouncing past. That is what it is all about. Maybe persist with the -- but give up on bad egg gas --. Check out Lolita on Saturday. The Calcutta remains my favourite. When I have my own little nest again it will remain so. In my nest I need no furniture, just my clothes and my laptop. So I can move easily and often. Everything else just in storage.
I look forward to my own nest again. Just getting the bus back to my flat at nights. Late night nightcaps in the Calcutta then late night bus back to my little nest. My classical music, my ferns, my lamp on the floor. I crave it. But I must get rid of this £20,900 debt first. Keep working hard, bringing it down £500 a month. I will get there.
In the meantime keep publishing my Travel Diaries, 2014-17. Put my record out there. I just like watching the sexy girls passing the pub window, maybe find a busty little whore when they come around in Soho, but otherwise what pleasure to be alone now, with my ferns and my classical music. My lamp on the floor. Writing my books, going to Brussels and Vienna every now & then. A nice life.

So Tuesday I got through another £141. Spent about £98 on strip alone, several private dances with -- and fivers for shoes off of course

So Tuesday I got through another £141. Spent about £98 on strip alone, several private dances with -- and fivers for shoes off of course. As soon as I got my first pint and sat on stool and she came to me in short black leather dress and long black hair and kissed me on both cheeks and gave me that smile, immediate erection. Then she turned and walked away showing me that incredible arse, I knew I was lost. Said we can meet when she comes back. The other girls were all bland, I tried to stay on other side except when -- was collecting. No idea what time I left. No memory of how I got back to station or waiting for train or getting back home.
I have £35 left in my pocket so might as well go out for one more drink this morning. Though it is dark and rainy.
*** Got to Calcutta 1PM, and almost straightaway stunning brown bun, short skirt, white tight v-neck top over massive boobies, could see them bulging over bra through almost see-through white top. Stunning 10 out of 10. Then blonde ponytail girl in tiny black vest over big knockers and tweed trousers.

Yes so it is going to be a dark rainy warm day so approach it in the spirit of the old Soho days. The old Fu Manchu days!

Yes so it is going to be a dark rainy warm day, so approach it in the spirit of the old Soho days. The old Fu Manchu days! Beautiful, sweaty, voluptuous naked floozies stripping for me, and rubbing themselves against my cock. Of course I will go to -- today.

Friday, 29 June 2018

YOU DID A GOOD THING. YOU PUT THE CAT AMONG THE PIGEONS

YOU DID A GOOD THING. YOU PUT THE CAT AMONG THE PIGEONS.
Rubbish journey home; no one except the black girl, and as fantastic as her busty figure is I am becoming bored of her already. That K-- girl maybe just a result of previous train being cancelled, the platform at London Bridge in particular did seem INCREDIBLY busy that day. There has been nothing like that surge of people getting on since then.

A tale of two blondes today. Entering Cannon Street this morning blonde in short short plum-coloured dress only barely covering her wonderful rotund arse

A tale of two blondes today. Entering Cannon Street this morning blonde in short short plum-coloured dress only barely covering her wonderful rotund arse, and the fabric clung to both buttocks of that curvy arse, and gorgeous bared curvy thighs. 19, 18, perhaps. Ahead of me to Platform 7 as well, but sadly she got on the first door. Stirring.
Then waiting for No.15 bus tonight passed by beautiful blonde in red short top and skin-tight black spandex trousers over amazing amazing sexy arse. Sensational.
So, last night. I cannot help it, I want to see A-- again, Surely if I get a chance over next three days I will have to go. Tomorrow, anyway I will have to go to bed for nap first, as was horrible last week going straight out early, tired, ratty, irritable, did not enjoy the drinking at all. So yes for sure nap for 1 or 2 hours when I get home in morning. Of course looking forward to the train home as well, for K-- girl? Black girl? Exciting.
Maybe now I am really over Calcutta Lucia and black barmaid, I might as well resume going to Victoria first so I can pop into M&S every day, then get No.38 and walk down to --, -- etc just finishing in my Calcutta.
A river cuts its own course. If I feel really drawn to A-- right now, then that is what I should do. I will go off her soon enough.
"Stop flirting with me." "Don't go, I think I love you." "Oh yes if you want it now. Let's do it now. You are a dirty cow but you turn me on". "Is that a new perfume you are wearing today. It is very very effective." I'm sorry I misread the signals.

Wanking in public is indicative of a state of complete transcendental abandonment which having sex with a woman in public isn't

Wanking in public is indicative of a state of complete transcendental abandonment which having sex with a woman in public isn't, comparatively. I have done both, of course, and wanking in public feels so much more TRANSGRESSIVE. Therefore I think it gives so much more of a high, a kick, it is the greatest high I think.
Having sex with a woman even in public involves engagement, whereas wanking in public quite unconcerned involves abandonment. And abandonment trumps engagement, IMHO. There ends my thesis. I'm feeling emotional tonight. Being cut off from travel and cut off from women is starting to bite. How I will explode when I am able to return to both. "Transgression is not only natural it is beautiful. I would go further: it is essential."
Most beautiful girl serving in M&S Victoria. Sure it is the one I saw before; black hair, looking Pakistani or Persian, surely, but with bit of Peruvian, bit of Brazilian. Extrordinarily beautiful face. I say again, I HAVE to make a point of going in M&S Victoria every time I go through that station, whether I need to buy anything or not. Stunning. One of the most beautiful women in London. M&S does it again. Nearly followed brunette into Boots, white slip top, and gold white skirt over most massive gorgeous fat arse. Oh God I need a nest of my own again.