Friday, 22 March 2019

Seen so many sexy little curvy bottoms in the last two days

Seen so many sexy little curvy bottoms in the last two days, in black leggings. Making me feel it is time. Then I counted how many days, and yesterday was the 69th day. Yes, it feels time. Let me try to nap for two hours first, gives me more options. Could quite happily go to Calcutta/-- if -- rubbish. Want to see E--. It was her who started this whole thing off. It is time to thank her.

Monday, 18 March 2019

Snowing quite hard

Snowing quite hard. This cold snap returning is a Godsend, it keeps me away from temptation. Freezing.

Sunday, 10 March 2019

Like the Earth's magnetic North Pole is always drifting so does my erotic north pole

Like the Earth's magnetic North Pole is always drifting, so does my erotic north pole. 2003 it was Munich, 2004 Berlin, 2006-2010 the Flying Scotsman, for past couple of years it has yo-yo'd between Brussels and Vienna. It is pointing back to Vienna right now.

Thursday, 7 March 2019

Reading about prostate cancer. Yes while young and healthy let me go to naughty places and spread my seed as much as I can

Reading about prostate cancer. Yes, while young and healthy let me go to naughty places and spread my seed as much as I can, because prostate cancer treatment will affect erections. And then I can save money by NOT going to bad places. So spend the money now while healthy. 16189 now. Next pay should be down to 15400. Egg payment just 118! From now on I will start paying Egg directly 400 or 500.
Woke thinking how amazing it will be to be in my Dorint hotel room again, naked, with bottle of Gosser, watching pornography on my computer, my naked erect cock out again. How amazing that will be. Three months down, perhaps eight more to get through? Credit cards down to 16,189 now, and surely down to 15,400 next month. Amazing progress.
This hibernation has been an incredible period, lost weight, published lots of books, made massive reduction in my credit card debt.


Wednesday, 6 March 2019

Well here we are in March already, three months down, we are getting there

Well here we are in March already, three months down, we are getting there. Perhaps just another eight to get through. Woke 145am thinking of Brussels Aisha in the Dome, black Max duty manager, blonde Max duty manager. This is such a spiritual year, longing, yearning for something I am denying myself physically. Then 2019 could be like a dam bursting.

Thursday, 28 February 2019

Thick snow. Hardly any trains running. The beast from the east has really hit now

Thick snow. Hardly any trains running. The beast from the east has really hit now.
Financial position not as good as I thought. Will have to go deep down to -350 by end of March to get down to £15,999 now with an extra £852 payment. From the Ides of March I had budgeted on going out once a week with £0 and £40 withdrawals but that alone makes a £420 dent by April payday. Amazing how those cash withdrawals even small add up so fast. Think my continence is going to have to be extended.

Saturday, 23 February 2019

Well that is SEPARATION finished as well! Published in both formats! Next up is TWELFTH NIGHT

Well that is SEPARATION finished as well! Published in both formats! Next up is TWELFTH NIGHT. *** I then slept for the whole rest of Friday! Dreaming, that awful trying to get somewhere again, and just getting further away. School, some man smoking, report him to police then get on bus to kill time, but bus going wrong place. P-- Wood, get off, C-- coming out of her house in black trousers and white blouse, breasts prominent, holding huge bunch of roses. I said it is going to rain, you just wearing a blouse; she made some joke about her nipples and boobs, I carried on getting on wrong buses. Then I woke. *** Up all night to now 624am Saturday. Working on TWELFTH NIGHT. Looking like 69 pages. The stuff from the fourth Vienna trip of the year is so good, so rich, I stayed for five nights that time and was time I first went to The Night Porter hotel and cafe, and first managed to cum with Amanda. Makes me ache for Vienna! Just February, ten months to get through at least. TWELFTH NIGHT will be ready for publication as well very soon! It is incredible how quickly my books are getting out now.
THE SCENTED SEA OF BOSOMS 1998
SOHO 1999
AUTISMUS 1999-2001
LOTTA 2002
THE COLD ICY AIR OF THE MOUNTAINS 2003-2004
---
---
TWELFTH NIGHT 2014
"My children will never forgive me if I destroy their future by letting Brexit happen."
If his children are as weak, wimpish and pathetically lacking in balls, spunk & backbone as he apparently is, then he is right and he will be vindicated.

Friday, 22 February 2019

Still bitterly cold which makes my continence easy

Still bitterly cold which makes my continence easy.
Isn't this hibernation glorious! All I do is sleep and eat, never getting out of bed at all. From January 12th to February 23rd, not set foot in a single pub, not gone out once on my days off! 43 days of saving money. 43 days of just EARNING money and not spending a single penny of it. If I could do this every year! Every January to March every year. What a difference it will make.

Woke from wonderful erotic dream, I am in optician's shop or something and it is very sexy but almost all forgotten now, curses

Woke from wonderful erotic dream, I am in optician's shop or something and it is very sexy but almost all forgotten now, curses, but I remember black hair Mandarin Whispers type girl coming down and out of lift in tiny black satin slip of a dress, her small nipples sometimes poking out. And I use excuse of feeling the material to run my hand over her naked body and no knickers of course. Then a woman in pink top and pink hotpants is leaning over the counter deliberately showing off the naked globes of her arse Then she complains the shop assistant is ogling her but other customers tell her to fuck off. Then I go to sit in waiting area with Mandarin and her mother in see-through blue top. So sexy. 0137am Thursday morning now.
Electrician coming at 8am. For me I am just going through the motions week after week, earning my money to bring me down eventually by Christmas to £9,999. Nothing else matters. I have to do this now; who knows what changes -- will try to enforce after August. Interest rates sure to go up again before then. I have to do this now. -- still rubbish. Weather still very cold. Weight still 15'0.


Saturday, 16 February 2019

THIS WILL WORK OUT BETTER FOR ME. THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT COULD EVER HAVE HAPPENED

THIS WILL WORK OUT BETTER FOR ME. THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT COULD EVER HAVE HAPPENED. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING ELSE. THIS IS THE START OF A BRAND NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE. THIS IS WHERE I RISE TO MY GLORY. THIS IS WHERE MY PHOENIX RISES FROM THE FLAMES. THE NEXT JOB IS GOING TO BE THE BEST  JOB OF MY LIFE. EVERY MOVE I HAVE EVER MADE HAS BEEN FOR THE BETTER.
I LIKE TO MAKE THINGS HARD FOR MYSELF.
I AM A REBEL & A REVOLUTIONARY. I AM NAUGHTY. I HAVE TO PUSH PEOPLE.  HAHAHA! WOUNDED INNOCENCE. GOOD! I LIKE THIS FEELING. THIS IS HOW I WANT TO FEEL. A SCORPIO ALWAYS CRAVES DESTRUCTION JUST SO HE CAN RISE LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE FLAMES ALL OVER AGAIN. I WILL RISE FROM THIS MORE GLORIOUS THAN EVER BEFORE.

Friday, 15 February 2019

After Twelfth Night 2010 -- came back to me and after that I could not be affected by anything that anyone said to me. I became iron. I became invincible

After Twelfth Night 2010 -- came back to me, and after that I could not be affected by anything that anyone said to me. I became iron. I became invincible. And now the same is true because I am writing my books and publishing another book every month. I have achieved FLOW. Whatever they say to me I do not care, because every month I am releasing another book.
If I am down to £16,600 as I speak, then a very good chance I can reach £15,999 in March. Suddenly JUST £6,000 away from my Christmas 9999 target. Once I get to 9999 I should be able to reduce it further very easily after that, because I will not be using my cards ever again, pretty much. Speed speed speed down to 9,999 now, even if I have to go deep into OD to do it. The finish line is in sight now. And -- on January 11th was the incredible turning point, assisted by the amazing £---- take home pay for December.
** I've just republished LOTTA, THE MORNING AFTER, and THE COLD ICY AIR OF THE MOUNTAINS in both formats! A very productive night. Up to date now, can concentrate on MARRIAGE tonight.Then soon on to SEPARATION, TWELFTH NIGHT etc etc. A real change begins in SEPARATION in that my writing is now free of all emotion. I left emotion behind in MARRIAGE, now it just becomes perfectly matter of fact travel diary. So SEPARATION in more ways than one. A separation from really caring about anything or anyone at all.
I always identified right at the start that -- was going to be the one to change my life, the one I needed to save my life and transform me into butterfly, transform me into iron. And so it has proved. I believe also that my writing WILL make me famous; even if it takes a very long long time for it to come true. Doesn't matter; it is the great pleasure of my life anyway. It is what gives me the feeling of FLOW, and progress, every day.
I wonder if I really have seen a permanent change in my spending habits and I will never go back to my old profligacy; or whether this period of abstinence is just a temporary thing? Time will tell. I know I never again want my credit card bill to be in FIVE figures. Once I get down to 9,999 I never want to ever go above that figure again. My trips to Vienna and Brussels and wherever else will come out of what my bank can afford.

If I can clear my debt to almost nothing how extraordinary Munich can come back to life again,Vienna can come back to life again [14th February]

If I can clear my debt to almost nothing how extraordinary Munich can come back to life again,Vienna can come back to life again. Travelling in general. A warm bath to sink back into so relaxed at ease. All the time in the world.

So £16,599 now. For sure then I should be down to £15,999 by March [13th February]

So £16,599 now. For sure then I should be down to £15,999 by March. I would rather go to Vienna in November than January as November not so cold of course. but that is a long way off.

Christ now Vienna dominates everything. A visceral aching for it [12th February]

Christ now Vienna dominates everything. A visceral aching for it. But also the wonderful determination that only £9,999 will trigger it. And that means £700 a month, and that means LOTS of £6.75 Belgian lagers to keep me inside the house! Gorgeous brunette girl ahead of me in Victoria M&S queue, so pretty face but a real apple bottom bursting those black jeans. So good.
How me living with -- shot everyone in -- straight up the arse!! Hahahahaha. Defeated forever. She made me Iron. Invincible.

Monday, 11 February 2019

THE PRINCE (1998-99)

Prince, Fantômas standing above them all, pulling their strings. Exultant! The pleasure I am heading to, the pleasure I am saving up for myself. Jealousy is like gangrene, it spreads & spreads, and I am going to spread through them a bit more. Like the Great Fire of London, 1998, the Great Plague, it spreads from house to house in hours, minutes, until it consumes the entire city. Having become a figure of scandal and notoriety years ago, I had stepped back into the lion's den, back to London where it had all started, and their "discovery" of my illicit liaisons in the boudoirs of Soho had driven them into more of a frenzy than ever before. "We ain't ever going to stop mister! We've got you now! So you'd better get used to it!" "Delighted!" I said. "You'd better get used to it as well my good man. You've no idea what you've let yourself in for." I had come back to London like Dracula to Piccadilly, sending the men into a terror and their women into a swoon.



Listening to Alizée J'en ai marre video last night brought back that incredible March spring-like excited innocent feeling of March 2003

Listening to Alizée J'en ai marre video last night brought back that incredible March spring-like excited innocent feeling of March 2003. Innocent days, before I ever had sex in Berlin, Vienna, Munich or Brussels either probably. Now tonight Maitre Gims reminds me so much of sitting in L'Orient Express, after checking in to the IBIS, before going to Le Coin, oh I cannot wait. For sure on my Vienna trip in December or January I will have to stay the first night in Brussels to try Le Coin BEFORE heading off to Vienna. Great thing is no more taxis all the way up to Max and then taxi back to get ICE next morning. Just stroll across the road. Cannot wait. 11th February already, wouldn't it be INCREDIBLE if in March I could bring my credit cards down to £15,999! Suddenly the goal feels in sight, so close I can almost touch it.
Had one beer on train back to -- this morning, then one more in bed, but I never enjoy that one in bed do I. Suppose it knocks me out. Weight crept up to 15'1. Oh but the danger is WHEN spring comes it is so exciting to go out just in jumper again. Feel the heat on your skin, see the bouncing boobies. Inevitably my saving will slow down dramatically. It cannot be helped. But to reduce by £1,550 in one month is extraordinary.

Sunday, 10 February 2019

VIENNA VIENNA LOOMS ON MY HORIZON. Christmas or Twelfth Night IF IF I can achieve that £9,999 by December

VIENNA VIENNA LOOMS ON MY HORIZON. Christmas or Twelfth Night, IF IF I can achieve that £9,999 by December.
VIENNA--Belvedere, Kraus house by Karlsplatz, Leopold; WSK, Manhattan, Cafe Westend. Dorint hotel room Gossers and porn. Goldentime??
BERLIN--Stuttgarter Platz, Ciro, LSD on other side, that sex kino I was reading of other day. One night stopover only.
BRUSSELS--that park where priest met Einstein, Byron's house Rue Ducale, Space Egg, Wiertz.
MUNICH--Rechthaler Hof, and finally have a "private dance" in one of the Schillerstrasse little clubs. Just to see if it is naughty at all. *** In my mind Lotta & Sophia are always 18 years old; always a shock to stop and say wait a minute, no, that was 2002, so now they must 33-34! Peckham Schoolgirl is forever in my mind 16-17, then with a shock I realise she must now be 23-24!

Saturday, 9 February 2019

Last night dozed off listening to In Our Time about Hamlet and had brief dream about beautiful girl coming to -- desk and asking for post

Last night dozed off listening to In Our Time about Hamlet and had brief dream about beautiful girl coming to -- desk and asking for post, she follows me fast into mail room and then approaches me and kisses me on the mouth! Beautiful brown ponytail girl, lipstick, no one I know but so beautiful. Then bizarrely she puts hands in my armpits and lifts me up as well as kissing me! I really really felt it was real, but then I woke and for a moment was shocked to realise it wasn't real.
*** Yep, so it is done, 9th February and we are at £16,899 already. A great kick-start to the year. Christ ALL I want to do is sleep! It is lovely. Sleep, eat, then sleep again.
Another wonderful deep sleep all afternoon through to after 9pm. Really feels like I am hibernating. Then I woke so horny thinking of Ebru and C-- in the hotel, and bit of WSK--all that wonderful sex I had there with Amanda, Jackie, Mongolian. Adelina. 953PM Friday night, another day I have slept through. Still no desire to go out in London, it is Vienna I am thinking of.

Friday, 8 February 2019

Nearly there then two days off and another £70 saved! It really does feel like EARNING money! Where to go in Vienna?

Nearly there then two days off, and another £70 saved! It really does feel like EARNING money! Where to go in Vienna? I've been to Kraus's Lothringerstrasse home, try his one down by Karlsplatz perhaps. Apart from that, Belvedere, WSK, Manhattan, Cafe Westend! AND DRINKING IN MY ROOM WITH THE PORN ON ! No more wasted hours stupefying in the bar. In Brussels? Byron's Rue Ducale home, the Space Egg, Wiertz Museum--all over that one side isn't it! Easy. Then that park where the priest walked with Einstein. Ibis and Le Coin and glorious food from the station every day! Cannot wait but must! £9,999 CHRISTMAS. That means 700 a month. A tough ask. All the GREAT travels I need to make, all the more remote holies, such as  Brocken Mountain, the Hercules in the forest, Milvian Bridge, Rubicon, Reichenbach Falls, Zurich red light district, etc etc etc can wait for the distant long off day when mother is no longer around. For now the little jaunts to Brussels and once a year Vienna are enough. And Christ how I yearn to spend a whole WEEK lazing in Vienna again. That is the shining citadel on my horizon, that is what all these sacrifices are working towards.  *** Started putting Vienna songs on my Commons playlist. Everything is connected. Vienna, 9,999 Christmas, my £700 months to get there, my £35 monk's day indoors to get there. My £6.75 Belgian lagers are essential to that too. I have to make my days indoors bearable, enjoyable, otherwise I would be bursting to go out. BY buying those 6.75 Belgian Lagers it makes me stay in which saves me £35 a day, which may make the £700 a  month possible, which will make the £9,999 Christmas near-certain .Then Vienna happens. Small building blocks, small incremental steps, produces the £9,999 Christmas. It is incredible. Last year I just cut down my travelling to JUST four trips to Brussels and one strip club a month. Now this year I am going further, no travelling AT ALL, and even less strip, and no pubs AT ALL for 69 days till Ides of March. Thereafter just once a week, whether I have two days off or three. This is the most enormous year of my life--by doing nothing! By doing nothing I grow something enormous. By doing nothing the most enormous blooming and blossoming can take place in the twelve hairy nights of Christmas 2018, then Twelfth Night explosion into Vienna.

Thursday, 7 February 2019

If I DO achieve this £9,999 at Christmas I will for sure reward myself with a Vienna trip

If I DO achieve this £9,999 at Christmas I will for sure reward myself with a Vienna trip; either before Xmas or in the New Year. And once I get down to 9K, it will slowly keep on coming down however much I relax my austerity as I will NEVER use credit cards again. I will never again book holidays on credit card; I will only book holidays I can afford from my bank only. So the 9,999 should NEVER ever rise above that figure again. This year is the fulcrum, the most pivotal year of my whole life. The Year of the Rooster is nearly ending and they all said it would a difficult year financially, you WOULD make progress but it would be hard work all the way; it looks like now only as the Rooster year ends can the handbrakes be taken off and financial prosperity start to speed up. Christ, that is the goal, a £9,999 Christmas, and therefore: VIENNA.
Incredible opportunity for me this calendar year. It really feels like it is now or never. This year is my last chance to turn my life around financially, and therefore in every other way. Finances constrain everything, so if I free up my finances I free up EVERYTHING. Travel, sex, place to live, everything.