Wednesday, 31 January 2018

History made as MPs vote to trigger Brexit--one year ago


Christ I can't stop thinking about Cine Paris now

Christ I can't stop thinking about Cine Paris now. Yes that long 7-day Vienna trip was disastrously reckless financially, but Christ what a memory getting wanked off in the LOBBY of the WSK cinema, sitting at the bar in front of everyone. The longer it is since it happened the greater it seems. Epic memories. And only drink takes me into these places, physically and spiritually. And of course on the last night on the way back I met Brazilian Diane, one of the great f--ks of my young life. THIS is why I travel, and THIS is why I owe so much on my cards. Extraordinary memories. But I HAVE to see naked women, that is the thing. Naked breasts and naked nipples. If I do not go back to -- next week, I will go to ---. If not -- then ---, I will never stop. But cheap visits these days.

Tuesday, 30 January 2018

My monk's life has begun

My monk's life has begun. This looks like being the whole rest of my life now.

Monday, 29 January 2018

I FEEL THE REALITY IS MY TIME HERE IS NEARING ITS END

I FEEL THE REALITY IS MY TIME HERE IS NEARING ITS END. IF I AM ROCKING THE BOAT AGAINST THE PAYCUTS THEY WILL JUST MOVE ME OUT. PREPARE FOR THAT. If only I hadn't stayed for those 7 days in Brussels---but then I would never have met Leyla & had that long session in Cine Paris. If only I hadn't gone to Vienna in December---but then I would never have met Brazilian Diane on that last Friday night. That is why I travel, that is what I earn money for.

Rainy day Monday. Feel so much like going out for drink and naked girls

Rainy day Monday. Feel so much like going out for drink and naked girls. I cannot face another week like last Monday to Wednesday, stuck in the house all week. I need to go out. The danger is hearing nothing from --- for so long makes me relax and think I am fine now. When it might still be happening; no reason to think otherwise. But complacency setting in again. Thinking about Brussels even. But crazy to save £480 this month only to go and blow it again. I have to keep saving this money every month to have a chance in life. Got to get my bank into credit and keep it there. No more minus below the line. Stay in credit always if I can.

Casanova (Or Lost Wanderings) now available on Kindle & in paperback


Shit before work nothing on paper except fresh light red blood. The Belgian lager is certainly knocking me out

Shit before work nothing on paper except fresh light red blood. The Belgian lager is certainly knocking me out. Struggling to walk home in straight line; just goes to show how slaughtered I must be when I go to Brussels and have can after can after can of 5.2% and this is just 5%.

Ohhh that marathon session in Cine Paris that Friday

Ohhh that marathon session in Cine Paris that Friday. Epic. Then on to Fifth Avenue, Emily, Paloma, fuckbunny, Diane, Leyla, INNA. I want to go to Brussels now. Fuck K-- and whatever may happen. Check Snap.

Oh how hungry I will be when I get back to those beautiful whores of Rue d'Aerschot, Fifth Avenue

Oh how hungry I will be when I get back to those beautiful whores of Rue d'Aerschot, Fifth Avenue. Ravenous like a wolf. Watching all these sexy big arse bitches in these German rap videos is making me hungry for naked woman, in Berlin or Vienna maybe.

Sunday, 28 January 2018

Feel like going to --- Monday. Restricting yourself is so boring. Let me have a third Red Bull

Feel like going to --- Monday. Restricting yourself is so boring. Let me have a third Red Bull. My weight is creeping up again, 15 stone or just over, despite all these days I have spent at home, and so long since I went to a pub. Had two cans of Belgian Lager on way home (that is exactly what it is called) from Marks & Spencer. That was enough to render me unable to have orgasm or ejaculate. Gave up in the end. Just shows how pointless to drink so much before 5th Avenue. No pleasure in contrast to the pleasure the day before when I was sober. But with that lager inside me I was thinking so much of Leyla in 5th Avenue. Diane.

Woke 4AM dreaming of Jeanette Winterson then painter teacher at home saying that is how you need to teach troubled children then I was with mother and father in living room with dog

Woke 4AM dreaming of Jeanette Winterson, then painter teacher at home saying that is how you need to teach troubled children, then I was with mother and father in living room with dog, then followed mother to back door and hugged her, and said I am leaving now, I will see you again next year. And I could not stop hugging her and I was crying, then I woke up and was crying for real.
A coincidence my phone has completely stopped working since Monday morning? My whole life going to fall in on me now? No, this is a positive thing.
That is now 9 days without alcohol. 9 days without spending any money at all. This is the year of austerity and frugality and monkishness.  To repair my bank first of all, and then after that start to reduce my cards. The year of monkishness and Munich is the home of the monks. I should go to Munich to pay tribute to this time of my life, when I travel again.


Saturday, 27 January 2018

If they are waiting for ME to walk they will have a long wait. I am like a limpet. A barnacle. What filled me with such despair now I see as possibly a magnificent thing

If they are waiting for ME to walk, they will have a long wait. I am like a limpet. A barnacle.
What filled me with such despair now I see as possibly a magnificent thing.
"You will find the answers, if you stand back, and view everything from a larger perspective." How apposite. What can I say I really long for in my life? To get back to Brussels, to get back to Vienna. To find another girl like Peckham schoolgirl, ---, Cassia. To greatly reduce my credit card debt.

Watching Mavi Phoenix Love Longtime makes me hungry for Vienna again! Café Westend, WSK, Manhattan. Good to feel that again

Watching Mavi Phoenix Love Longtime makes me hungry for Vienna again! Café Westend, WSK, Manhattan. Good to feel that again. Pleased to say I feel no desire at all for ---, Inna or not. No desire for Brussels for long time. Like I quickly went off coke when I stopped, I have quickly gone off strip pubs and travel. This hanging over me makes it easier to not care for those things.

How hungry I will be when I DO get back to Brussels whenever long distance day that will be

How hungry I will be when I DO get back to Brussels, whenever long distance day that will be. Baudelaire lived in penury in Brussels, surviving with his mother's help, Nietzsche lived in penury. It is part of my romantic legend for me to live in penury too, while keep writing the books, writing the notebooks, doing the work, obsessively obsessively recording every minute of the day. Do you know what though. I do feel like a drink today. The Calcutta I presume, nowhere else.

Everybody has setbacks in their life. Baudelaire had massive setbacks, Poe had massive setbacks

Everybody has setbacks in their life. Baudelaire had massive setbacks, Poe had massive setbacks, Friedrich Nietzsche had massive obstacles and detours and setbacks he had to overcome. It is all part of my bohemian romantic glory, part of my legend, the battles I had to overcome.

WELL GOOD THIS IS WHAT I LIKE. I LIKE THINGS HARD

WELL GOOD THIS IS WHAT I LIKE. I LIKE THINGS HARD. I LIKE REBUILDING FROM THE RUINS AND CLAWING MY SELF UP BY THE BOOTSTRAPS.

PORNOTOPIA. Cumpots. Oriental Cumpots. That is where the answer lies for me

PORNOTOPIA. Cumpots. Oriental Cumpots. That is where the answer lies for me. To stand in corner of Cine Paris w----g and let my -- shoot out across the carpet, let me do that. Dive deeper into porn. Again, I have barely scratched surface of erotic pleasure I can indulge in Brussels.

THROW AWAY ALL STUFF IN MY ROOM I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE TO STORAGE

THROW AWAY ALL STUFF IN MY ROOM I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE TO STORAGE. Why still keep it all? Make a big big pile of rubbish to throw away now.

Friday, 26 January 2018

Just slipped into dream and blonde doing laundry said I saw you at Ebony Club

Just slipped into dream, and blonde doing laundry said I saw you at Ebony Club, some strip pub I have dreamt of before, or have been to. It looked familiar. I am even dreaming of them. So went to bed so restless now, horny, WANTING to see naked woman, and wake 243 horny as hell after sexy dream, sexy little black bob thing, in black long fur coat and black stockings, singer, sexy little thing. Dreaming of porn film where I f--k girls all over place, in restaurants, train compartments. I am so restless now. So long since I seen a naked woman or had any sexual contact, in strip club or in Brussels. This continence living like a monk starting to eat me away.


Amazing compliment from Jan van der Damm on F Scotsman (and on his blog links page)

Amazing compliment from Jan van der Damm on F Scotsman (and on his blog links page): "Every now and again one comes across a fascinating blog. Then you discover that the author has more than one blog. You discover that he is pro-lific (yes, LOL). And you sense “something”. There is a seriously Germanic lilt to his work and interests (I hope that he got to see Lazarus at the King’s Cross Theatre), which is in sharp contrast to a declared preference for dirty-dusky girls. As one very dirty and high profile dusky girl said: “You can say that again.” Want more? Try Trotsky (and I don’t mean that Russian guy). Try The Diary of Samuel Peeps. Or click on my links icon for the others."


Wonder how many years I will be walking around these --- offices. £--,000 a year. Incredible. This is a CHANCE to set myself up for life

Wonder how many years I will be walking around these --- offices. £--,000 a year. Incredible. This is a CHANCE to set myself up for life; this is chance to be able to afford to rent my own little nest FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. With occasional trips on Eurostar to Brussels and maybe a once a year trip to Vienna (or Hamburg via Berlin). Just now got to get my head down and save all my money and bring my bank account back into credit permanently, no more overdraft; then start bearing down on my credit cards---conceivably bringing it down by £500 every month once I am in credit on my bank. Amazing to repeat, this job gives me the chance to rent my own little nest FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. But only if I wage war on my credit card debt NOW. While --- is still around and interest rates are almost zero. And I am healthy.

My pot belly persists and weight back to 15'2. Even with not eating breakfast again these days. My sleeping is getting LESS not better

My pot belly persists and weight back to 15'2. Even with not eating breakfast again these days. My sleeping is getting LESS not better. Woke 1251 for wee today, had 2 rolls and lay down again, waking again gasping fighting to take a breath with indigestion. Dozed off again till 520ish and dinner. But I cannot say the Fosters IS helping me sleep at all I don't think. Not had a shit today admittedly. That should reduce my weight a fraction.

Thursday, 25 January 2018

Typing up my Berlin notes from last year does make me nostalgic and excited to be back there again

Typing up my Berlin notes from last year does make me nostalgic and excited to be back there again. So stupid. Back in awful Sissi or Monte Carlo or 77. Or expensive pushy Ciro. What else to do there though? In daytime? Just 50 euros King George or 100 euro Caligula. There is no restaurant on level of Cafe Westend or Brussels Grill. No porn kino like Cine Paris or WSK. What do I do in daytime in Berlin? SURELY TIME FOR HAMBURG. NEXT LONG TRIP. Just use Berlin as one night stopover. Berlin has been relegated to the same level as Munich has. Such a long time since I had a high night in Berlin, cannot even remember it. Let Hamburg be my goal for end of 2017 if I make real progress with my savings and credit card repair.

Christ stunning blonde girl got on B--- with boyfriend. Blonde, black furry short coat over tiny pink taffeta dress

Christ stunning blonde girl got on B--- with boyfriend. Blonde, black furry short coat over tiny pink taffeta dress and gorgous long naked legs above black knee high boots. Stunning young little f--k doll. A real little Lolita. Her legs must have been freezing but if you have legs like that no wonder you want to show them off.

Twelfth anniversary of arriving in Vienna snowing, Mando Diao, Galvanise, unexpectedly late at night

Twelfth anniversary of arriving in Vienna snowing, Mando Diao, Galvanise, unexpectedly late at night, straight out to ML Revue then brief Manhattan. The trip that ended in Pour Platin and Maria. Also 9th anniversary of day after I found --- and Vanilla Ice "Yo. If you got a problem, I solve it." The thought of Inna rubbing her body, her bottom, her hand, her breasts against my swollen penis. And kisses, lots of them. Second day in a row weight 15 stone exactly. Nine days since I've been in a pub.

Straight to bed before 9AM then a marathon wanking session of most exquisite quality till 1130 at least

Straight to bed before 9AM then a marathon wanking session of most exquisite quality till 1130 at least, sexy ASMR, Sophie Mei and Arianna Sinn in showers just the start, then busty dentist, busty Asian nurse, busty maid, busty yoga.  And xhamster teen pics.  Then woke gasping for a breath at 330 and I only had a chocolate swiss roll before bed. Then a gassy shit insistent, no choice.

Wednesday, 24 January 2018

This is the year I disappear. From London pubs, from Brussels, from ---, from everywhere. But winter is the perfect time to disappear!

This is the year I disappear. From London pubs, from Brussels, from ---, from everywhere. But winter is the perfect time to disappear! Use this cold to help me stay home. No point at all going to London pubs or Brussels in the freezing cold. Wait till the hot weather and the bosoms come out again. Easy to save money till April or May then.


Udo Lindenberg - Reeperbahn 2011 feat. Jan Delay (What It's Like)

The light at the end of the tunnel turns out to be stop going to strip pubs and stop travelling. As simple as that

The light at the end of the tunnel turns out to be stop going to strip pubs, and stop travelling. As simple as that. That way I can make a profit of £500 every month. First I will use this profit to bring my bank account back out of overdraft into permanent credit; then I can start to pay down my credit cards with that money. This will be the hardest thing I have ever done, but also the most exciting thing I have ever done. Surprised and delighted to find my weight down 2lbs to 15 stone exactly. I'd like to think 8 days without going to a pub is bearing fruit at last.

So I slept again from 10PM to 7AM this morning. Now 925 cannot think of anything to do but go back to sleep again

So I slept again from 10PM to 7AM this morning. Now 925 cannot think of anything to do but go back to sleep again. This is my life for next several months to repair all the damage I have done. Perhaps no holidays at all till September! Can you imagine that! Then go on a long 14-day trip, several nights in Brussels before heading for several nights in Vienna. Do everything in one go.  This discipline this year is essential to save my life. This is most important pivotal year of my life. Year of the Rooster as well. Put my finances on a sound enough footing to enjoy my pleasures to the full in 2018 again. Use ---'s beneficence as long as I can to give me maximum chance to repair my finances before the flood comes.

So the only pleasure I will allow myself in these months of austerity monkishness is occasional Inna

So the only pleasure I will allow myself in these months of austerity monkishness is occasional Inna. No more travelling, no more Brussels, no more London pubs.

Lissie - They All Want You

Beth Ditto reminds me so much of Inna. I think about Inna so much. She is the biggest danger

Beth Ditto reminds me so much of Inna. I think about Inna so much. She is the biggest danger, the only danger, in my attempts to save money. If she had been at --- today then I would have been there as well, that is another £100 gone just like that.

It was second week of October the penny finally dropped and I knew I had to change, stop going to strip clubs. But then I went on that short end of October trip to Brussels

It was second week of October the penny finally dropped and I knew I had to change, stop going to strip clubs. But then I went on that short end of October trip to Brussels that turned into a massive 7-nighter; but it was only when I decided to extend the trip that I met Leyla, one of the most incredible meetings of my life. Then I went on that ruinous stupid long trip to Vienna at end of November, but it was only on way back from Vienna on the last night I decided to carry on to Brussels I met Brazilian Diane, one of the most incredible meetings of my life. So that debt bought me so much pleasure. So many head blowing off high nights. I cannot be too down on myself. Now I concentrate on repairing my bank account. Doing away with my overdraft and getting myself back into credit before I turn to my credit card debt. The bank account overdraft is the immediate problem that needs fixing.

So 835 Tuesday morning, another whole day in the house ahead of me. You wanted your own little nest full of ferns and music

So 835 Tuesday morning, another whole day in the house ahead of me. You wanted your own little nest full of ferns and music, well enjoy it now. That is what I have got here in my room. And all day Wednesday. I am going to live like a monk this year more than ever before in my life. It is necessary. The time has come. Even I accept that. The penny has dropped at last. The fact it is so cold helps!
So do something constructive. Work on my 7th book manuscript now. MARRIAGE. And type up the notes from the last Brussels trip. And go through my tapes.

Tuesday, 23 January 2018

I am becoming hungry for my own studio flat nest

I am becoming hungry for my own studio flat nest, which gives desperate urgency in my long quest to massively reduce my credit card debt. Everything is in storage now (apart from TV, Monroe picture, clothes, which --- can keep for me short term).

Just one Fosters on train home enough to make me think excitedly of Brazilian Diane and Inna and Paloma and Emily

Just one Fosters on train home enough to make me think excitedly of Brazilian Diane, and Inna, and Paloma and Emily. So hard to save money, but after all it looks like I have done it, a £400 surplus at least for credit cards in 12 days time. If one Fosters on way home makes me randy again for Diana and Inna at Fifth, then that is what I should make do with at Max before going to Fifth, just have one LARGE Jupiler from shop, then go, excited.

Charing Cross Station


Vienna is AMAZING if I can really relax there and luxuriate and sink into it like a hot bath

Vienna is AMAZING if I can really relax there, and luxuriate and sink into it like a hot bath---spend hours every day in Café Westend, and hours every night with one girl after the other in Manhattan. After daytime being w--ked off in WSK. But I have to go with spare hundreds of pounds to spend. Same for Brussels---so many girls in Fifth to enjoy, Paloma, Emily, Tatiana, even without the stars being there. I am trying to think now, did I even go IN to Atlantic City on my last trip? Almost no memory of it all.

Christ amazing reading about all the literary figures who spent time and wrote great things in Brussels. Baudelaire, the Brontë sisters, Hugo, Marx etc etc

Christ, amazing reading about all the literary figures who spent time and wrote great things in Brussels. Baudelaire, the Brontë sisters, Hugo, Marx, etc etc. I have so MANY pilgrimages to do when I go back. Baudelaire's hotel Le Grand Miroir in rue de Montagne 28 just behind Grand Place, the hospital he was taken to (same one Rimbaud went to after Verlaine shot him) which is now [perhaps not] the Passage 44 car park looking thing opposite Botanique. The Swan restaurant in Grand Place where Marx used to go and probably completed the Communist Manifesto. Charlotte Brontë wrote two novels inspired by her professor in Brussels who she fell in love with. So many places for me to make pilgrimage to when I go back. And the sex exhibition finishes March 17 remember. So many Brussels poems to read too.


The more rare my visits to Brussels become and to --- become the more thrilling they will inevitably be

The more rare my visits to Brussels become and to --- become the more thrilling they will inevitably be. A starving man becomes ravenous at the sight of food. That should make everything more pleasurable.

Where would I stay in Berlin if I ever went back? Plaza or Kanthotel?

Where would I stay in Berlin if I ever went back? Plaza or Kanthotel? I think Kanthotel if only because it is next to McDonald's, as well as Sissi, Monte Carlo and 77 of course. From there I would only need to do the long walk to Ciro once, and the short stroll to BEC.

Monday, 22 January 2018

"Monstrous bosoms typically developing quite precociously swelling like swamps owing to the humidity of the climate and the gluttony of the women"

"Monstrous bosoms typically developing quite precociously, swelling like swamps owing to the humidity of the climate and the gluttony of the women" Baudelaire was planning a book on Belgium where he lived from 1864 to 67. He had a muse here (whore) Appollonie Sabatier. Here he began to drink to excess. It was here he suffered massive stroke and paralysis which he had for last 2 years of his life.  "There is an invincible taste for prostitution in the heart of man, from which comes his horror of solitude" There is a Sex in Brussels exhibition at St Gery till 17th March! Looking at the brothels of Brussels since 1830s. Think I will have to miss it. We will see.

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - "Jubilee Street"

Watching Rick Stein's Long Weekend in Vienna makes me yearn for Vienna again. To go to Freud's house where he came up with the Oedipus Complex in 1908

Watching Rick Stein's Long Weekend in Vienna makes me yearn for Vienna again. To go to Freud's house where he came up with the Oedipus Complex in 1908, same year Klimt painted The Kiss, same year young Adolf Hitler arrived in Vienna. Oh to be in Café Westend again; oh to be ABLE to spend every day in Café Westend and not worry about money; to spend every night in Manhattan and not worry about money. Let me only travel again when I DON'T have to worry about money.
And then to sit in lobby of WSK cinema and have some girl openly wanking you in front of everyone.
And to have those pizzas from the station, and those wonderful bottles of Gösser beer in my room. Oh I miss Vienna now! I only didn't enjoy it the last two times because I WAS so worried about money.
Cut out the London pubs and only travel to Brussels once every THREE Months, then I can afford ONCE A YEAR in Vienna perhaps. Berlin has no joy for me anymore to compare with Vienna---no equivalent of Café Westend, no equivalent of the food from the station, no equivalent of WSK, no real equivalent of Manhattan (77 or Sissi very poor relations). The glory days of Mon Cheri, Hanky Panky, Golden Gate, Mazurka long gone. Ciro perhaps, with money, is the best.

This is a massive year for me. The year I finally control my spending and focus everything on reducing my credit card debt massively

This is a massive year for me. The year I finally control my spending and focus everything on reducing my credit card debt massively. That will set me up for the rest of my life. Perhaps my own nest again in 2018. Oh my god, can you believe tonight is the 22ND anniversary of first meeting black bob at Sunset Strip.

Pleased to say I feel no desire for Brussels whatsoever

Pleased to say I feel no desire for Brussels whatsoever. The need to do nothing but save every penny I earn has finally sunk into my bones. Mortified if this ticket machine has stolen £47 from me. Worried by the return of Inna prematurely.

At the --- I did not get turned on because deep down I just did not want to give myself. I was holding myself back

At the --- I did not get turned on because deep down I just did not want to give myself. I was holding myself back, for financial reasons, and that stopped me, therefore actually made me feel repelled by all the girls. This happened with coke, too, once I stopped drinking it for a while I quickly became repelled by it. For travelling too. I am becoming quite phobic about coke, Strippers, and travelling. This is necessary because I have to do everything I can to save money, reduce my debt, then get my true heart's desire: which is a little studio flat, a little nest, of my own again. Filled with ferns, and classical music, and my writing. Nothing of any value, nothing anyone would want to steal, I live incredibly frugally, I do not need luxuries, gadgets. Just my laptop that is it. I CRAVE MY OWN LITTLE NEST AGAIN.

Sunday, 21 January 2018

That picture of Chinese girl standing in door of White Lilly is so sexy reminding me again how I yearn for a Chinese massage again

That picture of Chinese girl standing in door of White Lilly is so sexy, reminding me again how I yearn for a Chinese massage again. But still not possible because of ---, and finances of course. I should make a habit of walking past all the Chinese places just to ogle the Chinese girls in the doorway. So sexy.

I think I really am weening myself off strip pubs. Like after stopping coke I soon became sick of the thought of it

I think I really am weening myself off strip pubs. Like after stopping coke I soon became sick of the thought of it, yesterday in --- I felt not one flicker of arousal. No desire to hurry back either. That is a good sign! Feeling no desire for Brussels at the moment either. I am doing well. I am in the belly of the beast but it will get better. The work I am doing now will start bearing fruit soon. Then I will feel so rich and happy and bountiful.

"No matter what you come up against today be a presence so stirring, so self-confident and focused. Use your willpower and discipline to your advantage"

"No matter what you come up against today, be a presence so stirring, so self-confident and focused. Use your willpower and discipline to your advantage. You will be triumphant (even if it catches you by surprise)."
"If you are flexible, balanced and self-assured, what drives you internally will absolutely show up in the tangible. You may pursue something with single-minded intent, and it leads you to a fathomless well of abundance. What it's about in the beginning is never what it's about in the end. There is a feeling of strength in knowing your own worth, a deep sense of well being on every front."

I gave up coke that was good. And October last year I pretty much gave up strippers. Just ONE DAY at --- since then

I gave up coke that was good. And October last year I pretty much gave up strippers. Just ONE DAY at --- since then. And I feel now I have given up drinking in London pubs on my days off, that is so pointless. And I feel no desire to travel right now, will not travel in February at all I am sure. I want my own studio flat, more than anything. Sub-consciously that is now behind everything. Berlin is over, Munich is over, pretty much Vienna is nearly over; that makes it easy to stop travelling and go back to having my own flat again.

It is terrible to do NOTHING in London isn't it?

It is terrible to do NOTHING in London isn't it? Can't keep spending every week in the house on my days off. Have to allow myself SOME days out, if only to make me feel ashamed again and make me WANT TO stay in again! Releasing the pressure sometimes just makes it easier to stay in and save money rest of time. Going out Tuesday night will DEFINITELY make me ENJOY staying in all day Wednesday with my classical music, my ferns, my lamps. The pendulum view of life and temptation. And a collection of asses like A--, E--, and Inna would be pretty amazing. And NO money being spent on travelling this month. And tomorrow is anniversary of the Night of the Snow in Munich.

Saturday, 20 January 2018

Watching those incredible Brazilian gameshows on YouTube before sleep made me suddenly ache for Diane again

Watching those incredible Brazilian gameshows on YouTube before sleep made me suddenly ache for Diane again, especially that Andressa Regina in bikini show, and also suddenly I realised why I went back to Brussels in January and why I did nothing in 5th Avenue while there, because I was really really wanting to see Diane again. I have to save money and reduce my credit card debt, otherwise I will never be able to have a life for myself in my own flat again. Yet I am thinking a lot about ---- again. Icy fog predicted for morning. Decided before leaving work this morning wait for a RAINY Sunday, that is the day to go back in to London looking for Laetitia. Yes. Wait for the rainy Sunday.

I should always keep Remigio Zampa in my mind when I go travelling. Those porn films I used to trick the IntercityHotel TV into showing me for free

I should always keep Remigio Zampa in my mind when I go travelling. Those porn films I used to trick the IntercityHotel TV into showing me for free. Great memories. But Hotel Wolff next time I travel to Vienna, but that is a LONG way off. And finally have a 50 euro private dance in one of those Schillerstraße places, Candy or Dolly Bar. I really CAN find myself with an extra £700 to pay to my credit cards this February payday. My goal is £--,000 by end of year?

Interesting journey home. Sat in first carriage after the divide at far end facing back. At least I can SEE who is getting on

Interesting journey home. Sat in first carriage after the divide, at far end facing back. At least I can SEE who is getting on. Very enjoyable. Very pretty Asian girl getting on at L---- and I thought is that MY girl? Sure enough getting up at ---- she got up too and we were face to face. With Fosters inside me I had confidence to look in her face; she is so much prettier than I previously thought! And getting off --- v pretty little black-hair girl, Eastern European maybe. Very encouraging. That Fosters makes me so happy. And the extra songs I am putting on my phone.
How long till I can resist --- again. Then there goes all my hopes of ever reducing my debt. How sexy I did find Inna before Xmas. That amazing arse and beautiful soft kind face. How sexy --- barefoot.  Lucky for me Inna is away for 2 months. 

Friday, 19 January 2018

What a way to go! "Drowned, in a basement brothel in Greek Street. Cause of death: Ruptured Pipe"

What a way to go! "Drowned, in a basement brothel in Greek Street. Cause of death: Ruptured Pipe. His colleagues recall he always had a fear of drowning, but never imagined it would be whilst in bed with a massively busty young Persian girl, stark naked in Greek Street."

Generic busty Persian girl (not of Greek Street)

Woke up today 140pm (still far too early) thinking so much about Inna then

Woke up today 140pm (still far too early) thinking so much about Inna then. Lying with my earphones in listening to my music, imagining her and me in my little house listening on our music system naked in the dark. Made the music sound so good. Then it made me want to see the --- girls STRIPPING to this music! Dangerous. Thank god Inna is away for two months. Perfect timing. Then thinking of P-- dancing to my favourite songs, and then her lying naked with me in my own little --- house. This could be a massive year in my life. I think --- is going to play a massive part in the next stage of my life: - living on my own again.

Thursday, 18 January 2018

ALWAYS BE CONFIDENT. ALWAYS REMEMBER BRAZILIAN DIANE IN DECEMBER, AND THAT EXTRAORDINARY VOLUPTUOUS WHITE BODY UNDER ME

ALWAYS BE CONFIDENT. ALWAYS REMEMBER BRAZILIAN DIANE IN DECEMBER, AND THAT EXTRAORDINARY VOLUPTUOUS WHITE BODY UNDER ME, THAT BOTTOM BENDING OVER, AND LYING FLAT ON BED AS I ENTERED HER FROM ABOVE. NEVER FORGET THAT! If not her then Leyla. If not her then Inna. If not then, then that exquisite five hour session in Cine Paris that last Friday. Exquisite FIVE HOURS of -------.

I now see the comment in the birthday card --- sent me in 2015, "hope you use this year as a springboard for the rest of your life", as a sign that this is what SHE had done with her life

I now see the comment in the birthday card --- sent me in 2015, "hope you use this year as a springboard for the rest of your life", as a sign that this is what SHE had done with her life, and she wanted me to make the changes to find the same security as she had, as she wanted me to be as safe as she had become? I didn't! It took me until August 2016 till I finally felt I could go no further and started moving stuff into ---- storage, and it was not until second week of October that I suddenly realised I had to stop the strippers. Then came the long end of October 7 nights stay in Brussels (but I met Leyla only because I extended the stay) and the pointless trip in December to Vienna (but I met Diane on the last night back in Brussels), then this January chaste trip to Brussels---but it made me discover the resolution to never leave 5th or Rue WITHOUT doing something with someone, whoever, and made me resolve to stop drinking in London on my days off. Two big developments. I also did well on this holiday as I am pretty sure I only had 2 of my 5 ----. So no hurry to buy more. Walpurgisnight this year falls on a Monday night, April 30.

ANY KIND SIR OR MADAM WISHING TO SHOW THEIR APPRECIATION OF MY NUMEROUS BLOGS REPORTING FROM THE FLORID & LURID FLESHPOTS OF BRUSSELS, VIENNA ETC IS MORE THAN WELCOME TO MAKE A PAYPAL CONTRIBUTION TO SOHOFOG@YAHOO.COM (PAYMENT WILL APPEAR ON STATEMENTS AS PAYPAL*ROMILLYTOBA).

I ALSO ACCEPT DOGECOIN. YOU’RE WELCOME.