At the --- I did not get turned on because deep down I just did not want to give myself. I was holding myself back, for financial reasons, and that stopped me, therefore actually made me feel repelled by all the girls. This happened with coke, too, once I stopped drinking it for a while I quickly became repelled by it. For travelling too. I am becoming quite phobic about coke, Strippers, and travelling. This is necessary because I have to do everything I can to save money, reduce my debt, then get my true heart's desire: which is a little studio flat, a little nest, of my own again. Filled with ferns, and classical music, and my writing. Nothing of any value, nothing anyone would want to steal, I live incredibly frugally, I do not need luxuries, gadgets. Just my laptop that is it. I CRAVE MY OWN LITTLE NEST AGAIN.