I now see the comment in the birthday card --- sent me in 2015, "hope you use this year as a springboard for the rest of your life", as a sign that this is what SHE had done with her life, and she wanted me to make the changes to find the same security as she had, as she wanted me to be as safe as she had become? I didn't! It took me until August 2016 till I finally felt I could go no further and started moving stuff into ---- storage, and it was not until second week of October that I suddenly realised I had to stop the strippers. Then came the long end of October 7 nights stay in Brussels (but I met Leyla only because I extended the stay) and the pointless trip in December to Vienna (but I met Diane on the last night back in Brussels), then this January chaste trip to Brussels---but it made me discover the resolution to never leave 5th or Rue WITHOUT doing something with someone, whoever, and made me resolve to stop drinking in London on my days off. Two big developments. I also did well on this holiday as I am pretty sure I only had 2 of my 5 ----. So no hurry to buy more. Walpurgisnight this year falls on a Monday night, April 30.