Friday, 25 May 2018

One in the Iron Duke, seems a bit pointless, I never see anyone sexy there now

One in the Iron Duke, seems a bit pointless, I never see anyone sexy there now. Bus to Chinatown, walked along the end of Lisle Street past the TWO massage places. One a shop, the other just a stairway. The girls close up I now see are quite old. Not as alluring as they seemed yesterday. American trio came in --, mum, dad and slim daughter, but her face so beautiful, like an American --. And so animated, happy. Stayed for four pints because I could not stop looking at her (glancing only of course). Then back to the Calcutta, Lucia came out of back as I was heading to my seat and greeted me, then when passing to go out stopped by me to ask how I was doing. I told her the beer is cold now. "You see!" she grinned.

Tuesday, 22 May 2018

SO many beautiful young women on the way to work. Blazing hot early evening. Summer is here

SO many beautiful young women on the way to work. Blazing hot early evening. Summer is here. Best of them the peroxide blonde crop-cut in black top getting on my train at L--, like a petite voluptuous Natalie Maines (or Sarah --). So beautiful. Two days off in the hot weather! 76 OR 243 to Downham Road the easiest, then easy to get back to Charing Cross from there.  ** Dangerously aroused. Wonder if I will be tempted back to Soho models this summer. Oh the sheer glory of f--king a girl in one of those Vienna porn kinos. Stark bollock naked in a cinema. God I miss it now. The glory of it . Even just getting my cock out in the foyer of the WSK and having that girl wanking me calmly as we sat at the bar in the foyer. Epic, glorious moments. That is what I live for, what I travel for. But I must abstain, for this whole year. I overdid it, now must starve myself of it, to bring it back to life again in the future. But more sparingly. Christ, I still owe £21,504. Still almost the whole way to go. Get it down to £20,999 in June. By August hopefully down to £19,999. By October to £18,999. By December to £17,999? Achievable targets if I do not travel again before then.  Live in the pornography on my computer, and the ogling girls from the -- and Calcutta pubs. While typing up my Travel Diaries 2014, 2015, 2016.
When mother is gone, that is the time for Italy. Florence, Rome, the Rubicon, everywhere. Time for Germany, Hercules, Brocken, Reichenbach Falls. The great wandering adventures on Inter-rail passes. I cannot do that now with mother still my main concern.
A wonderful dreamy Derek Jarman porn film, worshipping the priapic sexiness of naked male bodies, cocks, frottage, but also rampant f--king of women in the end.


Monday, 21 May 2018

Looking at my credit card reduction I know I was feeling a bit depressed because it was so slow and minimal for few months

Looking at my credit card reduction I know I was feeling a bit depressed because it was so slow and minimal for few months, but now I realise that is because I wanted to lift myself out of the £1,300 overdraft first, before I started reducing my credit card debt. So that actually means I have reduced my indebtedness by £2,700 in total since August. A wonderful achievement, considering that does include the Vienna trip and the January AND April Brussels trips. Just shows what can be done by NOT travelling, and by STOPPING strip pubs. The thought of going back to -- Monday or Tuesday is just so depressing, despite Bella's great beauty. Just that small flicker thinking of Sonia's voluptitude, plus A--  and Paula. Otherwise just enjoy the -- and Calcutta. Monday going to be blazing 23C it seems, so GP at 2PM then straight back to -- and/or Calcutta.
Remembering that Felliniesque brunette passing the -- Tuesday, then coming back and standing on her own in front of window, I wondered if she was waiting for me to do something as she saw me watching her. Definitely I feel the -- has come back into play.

Sunday, 20 May 2018

"You work very well alone. Not being hampered by a micro-manager allows you to develop methods that save time, energy and resources"

"You work very well alone. Not being hampered by a micro-manager allows you to develop methods that save time, energy and resources. Everyone will marvel at your progress. Keep your techniques secret or you could create enemies at work."

Charing Cross Road







Friday, 18 May 2018

Oh the joy of being in Berlin Stuttgarter Platz. A lazy nightcap with some floozies then back to hotel to sleep

Oh the joy of being in Berlin Stuttgarter Platz. A lazy nightcap with some floozies then back to hotel to sleep. The joy of being in Schillerstrasse Munich. The joy of being in the Gurtel. The joy of being in Fifth Avenue or Cine Paris. Raining all night, listening to it outside. Early hours of morning now. If I go out this Wednesday it will be late for a nightcap in the Calcutta only.
Steaming Tuesday, very warm but overcast. All the beauties I saw were Asian or Eurasian. No bosoms, slim, but so sexy. Fu Manchu weather maybe affecting me, but it brought them all out. -- maybe back in play, realised the side table by left side door is place to sit; saw many beauties from there, enjoyed it. One back in the Calcutta and Lucia and tall one came in, both greeted me, and Lucia put her hand on my knee as she passed. What were those tight white T-shirts they were wearing? Tall one changed into black Calcutta T-shirt to start work, so what were the white ones? I think from now on later will always be better for me. Oh but I need to go early for -- of course. Rainy day today. Had enough to drink but maybe go for a couple early in --.
*** "rain spreading to all parts by the evening, Feeling very warm and humid ahead of the rain".
One in the Iron Duke, then 38 and walked down to --, two in there, then bus back to Calcutta. Lucia on her own behind bar in low-cut black v-neck T-shirt giving clear view of the valley of her cleavage. Two in there then home. Raining hard by now. Beautiful, was happy, smiling and laughing to myself on walk down the road. I HAVE to go out every day on my day off, it is life. Staying in on my days off is not life. I can work on my book at work.

Thursday, 17 May 2018

When walking along a street just think I am SCANDAL

When walking along a street just think I am SCANDAL, I am blood red scandal, I am suffused with scandal, and feel the glory and the sexiness and the power of that; how that attracts and fascinates people.

The roll call is quite incredible. 2014 Fortuna Kino blonde, WSK Amanda x4, Julia 5th Avenue, Andrea 5th Avenue, Beatris

The roll call is quite incredible. 2014 Fortuna Kino blonde, WSK Amanda x4, Julia 5th Avenue, Andrea 5th Avenue, Beatris. 2015 WSK Amanda, Manhattan Melissa & Burggasse Manuela. Beatris x2, WSK Jackie, Manhattan Adelina and 5th Avenue Lucy. 2016 Zinip, Beatris, Inna x2, Leyla x2, Marianna, Diane, plus Empire Jennifer. That is where the £22,900 went so I have to say it was money f**king well spent (literally). And I will do it all again once I get the money again.
Bank of England's Super Thursday today and result is it looks like interest rates will be rising end of 2019. That is exactly same as my timescale, of reducing my debt to £9,999 by end of 2019.
I WOULD like to write those Confessions books, Emily running cotton wool bud dipped in champagne around head of my penis. Before getting on all fours and letting me rub my penis against her arse, while laughing "I am not a houri!" Patricia wanking me in private dance booth with kitchen roll over her breasts. This is the REALITY of that world. Schillerstrasse Munich. Is any of this still possible in Munich? I would have to go with MONEY, speculate to accumulate. I am sure SOMEONE will do something SOMETHING naughty in Schillerstrasse won't they?
DALIDA BAMBINO. SHAY PMW NAVII TURBULENCES.  DEEN BURBIGO ON Y VA.  Yes it seems there is slightly more interesting music in France than I ever see on D17 or CStar. The Hits Box is more interesting.

Monday, 14 May 2018

My passion now is for bringing my credit card debt down now I realise I really CAN do it, now I realise how quick and easy I CAN do it. It is POSSIBLE after all

My passion now is for bringing my credit card debt down, now I realise I really CAN do it, now I realise how quick and easy I CAN do it. It is POSSIBLE after all. I am addicted to this debt reduction. It gives me more thrill than anything I used to spend the money on. But I cannot be unhappy at the debt, because I spent it on Brazilian Diane in Fifth, Empire Jennifer, Moroccan Leyla in Fifth, Lucy in Fifth, Andrea in Fifth, Inna in Fifth, Amanda in WSK, Jackie in WSK, Fortuna blonde, Manuela in Burggasse Peep, Adelina in Manhattan, the best best best nights of my life, the highest nights of my life. So that £--K was well well well spent. I just need to bring it down again now, so I can go again. Maybe just once or twice a year but longer.
Better I hold off and don't take any more holiday till AFTER the August week. Save all my holiday for last four months of year. We will see if I can resist a Snap ticket once August is here. A two night trip to Brussels as I have discovered will set me back £320 minimum. Remember I have about 80 euros already in my pocket! Remember I can lose this job at any moment. Remember I can lose my health at any moment. That is why I will NOT travel at end of August--also that is my chance to go out in London on Friday and Saturday at last! And to have a Sunday in Soho! I have had a GREAT three years of travelling , incredible sexual experiences, some of the greatest of my life, now I need a fallow year, so I can look forward to a third golden age starting next year perhaps. By the end of this year I will still be owing £--K. There is so far still to go.

Sunday, 13 May 2018

Got an erection while laying on sofa which proved hard to get rid of. Thinking about those wonderful porn films in the Munich InterCity hotel back in the day

Got an erection while laying on sofa, which proved hard to get rid of. Thinking about those wonderful porn films in the Munich InterCity hotel back in the day 2003-4. I will have to stay there on my next stay, however much more expensive. The Intercity Munich is in my blood. The way the Regent never can be (or any of those cheap Schillerstrasse places). For my end of year trip to Vienna? Oh, but Vienna always means a £1,000+ trip. Always over a thousand to go to Vienna, with Brussels and Munich stopovers. That is 1000 out of my bank account and which I cannot reduce my cards by, I expect I will just stay in Brussels at end of year.

Friday night! Nearly Saturday morning! Pretty soon I am off again! Yes I am bored of Lucia in the Calcutta but if she can help stop me going on to strip clubs then she can still be useful

Friday night! Nearly Saturday morning! Pretty soon I am off again! Yes I am bored of Lucia in the Calcutta but if she can help stop me going on to strip clubs then she can still be useful. Need to try to reduce my beer intake to 5 though if I can. That is £40 a month if I did that on every day off. The goal is keep keep keep reducing my credit card debt, so I can be ready to move into my own little nest again; and I am inclining back to my old haunt of Wandsworth Road again. I have reduced my credit card debt by around £1,300 since mother's --th birthday last August. That is a great achievement, and now it can accelerate.
Christ this is SIXTH anniversary of -- dancing to Paul Young's Come Back & Stay This Time at the Scotsman. Incredible memories. Overwhelming desire. I had to let her go.
I do feel I have made a connection with Lucia. Interesting when she did finally arrive on Wednesday she felt like she wanted to tell me she had just had a sleep, she had to come in at 6AM for a delivery then go back home again, she was meant to come in to train a guy but he never turned up. All unbidden, and she wanted to tell ME. Monday interesting she told me she had been working 16 days in a row, and that they were paying her £--- a month extra; quite personal stuff. I play the long game and this is a nice start, nice foundations.

Saturday, 12 May 2018

A personal memoir of love, marriage, separation, Soho and the Flying Scotsman – JOURNALS: VOLUME 3 (2006-2013) – TENSENESS, EROTICISM & REPULSIVE PATHOLOGY by Ernst Graf (£3)

Previously published separately as Casanova (Or Lost Wanderings), Marriage, and Separation; re-edited with new material.


Feel no desire for travel, Brussels or Vienna I am pleased to say

Feel no desire for travel, Brussels or Vienna I am pleased to say. Just want to keep working, keep getting my pay cheques, keep reducing my credit card debt by 300 or 400 a month. I now know I have to go out on my days off for drinks at least, drink until I am ready to pass out and sleep all evening and night, that way the days off pass quicker and relatively cheaply. WHILE WORKING ON MY TRAVEL DIARIES 2014, 2015, 2016. Three books I can very quickly type up and publish.

Thursday, 10 May 2018

Passing the No.87 Strand bus stop on way back to Charing Cross this morning I felt a sudden frisson how good it would be if this was my bus stop to get me back to my studio flat again

Passing the No.87 Strand bus stop on way back to Charing Cross this morning I felt a sudden frisson how good it would be if this was my bus stop to get me back to my studio flat again. How depressing if I had to travel all the way to -- Station before even waiting for a TRAIN back to my flat! The -- idea was pretty mad.  So tomorrow is Walpurgis Night and another very quiet one for me, Sunday night at work! They always are for me, ever since that Flying Scotsman night 2005. Would be lovely to go to Germany on a Walpurgis Night one day. Incredibly it seems I never have!
Good to say no desire to go to Brussels or Vienna at all; horrified, phobic of the thought of that expenditure, all those hundreds and thousands of pounds thrown away. So excited to get to every payday so I can funnel all that money to my credit cards. Would be nice to see Sunset Helen again, and -- Bella again from Turkey. Watching black cock porn before sleep, and particularly Lexington Steel with Kimberly Kendall who reminded me so sexily of --'s sister; and the Snow White was good too reminding me of porn Flash Gordon. Felt very good. Has there ever really been a better moment than that double cum handjob with Manuela in Burggasse Peep? and that was quite recent, so shows there is still life in the old dog. IS there really a new big breast brunette there called Sade? Those breasts the best I've seen on their website since Maneula quit. No! See if she is still there in December, then that may influence my last holiday of year.

Monday, 7 May 2018

I had this feeling that without travel my life is empty, just passing the days, passing my months away, but really--this gives me the chance to WORK EVERY DAY ON MY BOOK

I had this feeling that without travel my life is empty, just passing the days, passing my months away, but really--this gives me the chance to WORK EVERY DAY ON MY BOOK. Travel Diary 2014, Travel Diary 2015, Travel Diary 2016, Confessions of a Brussels Diplomat! This work needs to be done. *** Uneventful journey to work, as always. What excitement I used to get getting the BUS to work from Wandsworth Road. Always sexy bus stop girls. I am starting to crave my own nest in London again, not --, surely that would be madness.
I was thinking I would go to Brussels BEFORE the end of August week off, but then I thought no, I will wait for end of August. Now I think no, I will stay in London end of August, and wait until combined Brussels/Vienna trip in December. Now I think even in December I can only afford Brussels only. This is how well my mind set has changed. So excited at prospect of being able to reduce my credit card debt down to £--K at least by end of year. Still sounds a huge amount! But it would mean a hell of a lot less in monthly interest charges compared to now, and hell of a lot lower monthly repayments compared to now.
Fill the gap left by not travelling with working on my Travel Diaries, 2014, 2015, 2016. A lot of work to do there. The only writing that interests me is the journal of a solitary man's path through life, and so it flows when I am not solitary my writing must fall silent until I am solitary again, then I can resume where I left off. This is a vital fallow year. To write up all the journeys I have been on since Twelfth Night 2014. Three books of Travel Diaries to write and publish.
What a beautiful lovely slowly raining April evening it was tonight! Not cold, bit clammy, muggy, and slow gentle constant drizzle. Soho weather. Fu Manchu weather. From the old days.

Saturday, 5 May 2018

I realise now my second Golden Age of travelling really finished in December 2016. These two poor trips to Brussels in January and April this year just put the final nail in it

I realise now my second Golden Age of travelling really finished in December 2016. These two poor trips to Brussels in January and April this year just put the final nail in it. That last night in Brussels on the way back from Vienna in December, and that magnificent f**k with Brazilian Diane is a fitting end to my second golden age. I have had two big fights in my life, the fight to win --, and now the fight to reduce my debts to a manageable level. If I HAD stopped travelling after --'s Birthday in August last year what would I have missed out on? Just two trips actually, but really exciting ones, October to Brussels for whole week, second time with Inna, and then met the incredible Leyla. Then December Diane and later that night finally had a private dance with Jennifer in Empire. That is why it is hard to stop! But I have done it. Also question idea of getting a flat all the way out in --. At the end of night out in London I again just want to be able to jump on 87 night bus in Trafalgar Square and know it is just a direct bus ride back to my little nest. Crazy to live all way out in --, especially now I have lost all interest in --.*** Another reason my first golden age was so rampant and pleasurable was the exchange rate was around £1 to 1.50 euros, so every £200 brought me 300 euros. Every £400 brought me 600 euros, so I felt so rich and so free to go in one club after another. With the exchange rate now no more than 1.17, £200 only brings me 234 euros. It makes a massive difference. Remember how almost every time I get the train on to Vienna and then come the long journey back, I always say I wish I had stayed in Brussels the whole time. JUST going to Brussels in December would also save me so much money.


11 o'clock train again and my two girls were both at the Calcutta again

11 o'clock train again and my two girls were both at the Calcutta again. I was very tempted to leave to see -- Helen and have a private dance with her, but in the end stayed for 7 pints again then home for gorgeous pork chops. Amazing. Drink till hungry then go home to stuff one's face with dinner. This is my life. While saving money yes. All I care about is reducing reducing reducing my credit card debt, so one day I can afford my own little nest again. I have to save money now while I am earning good money. It is now or never for defeating my debt.
This is what I want to do on holiday as well, drink still starving hungry then stuff my face with lovely food then bed. It is just a question if I find anything to turn me on sexually before my hunger takes over. Increasingly I do not. First week of September might be my next holiday A long while to wait.

Friday, 4 May 2018

So Monday got the 11 o'clock train and there was Lucia behind the bar with a new young black trainee equally curvy and voluptuous!

So Monday got the 11 o'clock train and there was Lucia behind the bar with a new young black trainee, equally curvy and voluptuous! She came to clean the door and was bending right over in my face, lovely arse. Fantastic news. Lucia already seems like the manageress, senior managers in suits sat with her around the table discussing things with her. And black girl was saying she wants lots of hours and Lucia said she would see what she could do.
I never saw any sexy girls but I realised that my eyes were completely glazed, I was lost in my own world. After second pint I never even noticed who was passing the door, I was looking with empty eyes. Was after 4 when I finally left, after my EIGHTH pint. Woke this morning fine, no hangover at all! I think the presence of those TWO girls kept me turned on. If they are not there today I will perhaps press on to -- as I had intended yesterday.

Wednesday, 2 May 2018

I still find myself craving the bars of Schillerstrasse Munich to finally see what a private dance would be like. Still find myself craving Club 77 in Berlin

I still find myself craving the bars of Schillerstrasse Munich, to finally see what a private dance would be like. Still find myself craving Club 77 in Berlin, Monte Carlo, Sissi, long sessions in Café du Dome Brussels, Café Westend Vienna. All the things that made me run up my unpayable debts are still the things I want to spend my money on.
Let the the first week of September be my next holiday in Brussels, and nothing until then. Then I can spend a whole week in Brussels, including Friday and Saturday. Time to go sightseeing, pilgrimage, and time to spend an whole afternoon in Cafe du Dome again. That gives me May, June, July, and August paypackets before I travel. Satisfy myself with --, Sunset, Lucia in the Calcutta. Better to go early of course, because if she is there then I will not want to go anywhere else, which will save money. Already looking forward to 11AM Monday. These are the little pleasures of my life now my travelling is pretty much over (for now).

Now I can get back on track. A fairly mediocre trip to Brussels means I can now concentrate just on saving money every month

Now I can get back on track. A fairly mediocre trip to Brussels means I can now concentrate just on saving money every month, working towards having my own little nest again, when the time comes.

Tuesday, 1 May 2018

So on the Eurostar home and I DID stay within the 200 euros I took out at the start

So, on the Eurostar home, and I DID stay within the 200 euros I took out at the start. In fact I think I still have a 50 euro note let in my pocket as well. Fifth Avenue was uninspiring; no stars at all. Grabbed a McDonald’s on the way back to the hotel then out like a light. I woke around 1am with my clothes on and contact lenses still in my eyes! I grabbed some water from the lounge, then came back and went to bed properly. The Snap carriage going home is quite empty; I grabbed my favourite seat at the back; I think it did belong to a couple of ladies who got on after me, but they saw me here and took some empty seats elsewhere instead.
So yes, a relatively cheap trip to Brussels. 165 euros spent in cash plus the 128 euros hotel and £74 Eurostar. £320 in total? As usual I went there hoping for a sexually rampant, wild time but once again did nothing. There was nobody I fancied at all. So no hurry to come back, which is good. Next time I will definitely spend more time on the cultural things, the pilgrimages.



340 and my dial of drunkenness is still only just on halfway point

340 and my dial of drunkenness is still only just on halfway point; this time yesterday I was already unconscious, in deep, deep sleep; blacked out after 9 hours of drinking and over-large pizza. Now, still hungry and still ready for some more beer. Empire out of the equation after last night, so I can leave everything on the table now. All out now, leave nothing in reserve.


I’m afraid my opinion of French music—as adduced from the music channels in my Brussels hotel room, D17, C-Star, RFM in some Brussels bars & others—is that it is AS WEAK AS PISS

I’m afraid my opinion of French music—as adduced from the music channels in my Brussels  hotel room, D17, C-Star, RFM in some Brussels bars & others—is that it is AS WEAK AS PISS. This is my overwhelming impression year on year. And then I see a video like -------------- & I feel almost physically repulsed; I find it contemptible! I find it RISIBLE, my understanding of the word “risible” being somewhere between laughable and contemptible. Too bad to be laughable. Worse than that. And oh yes, there is the Ladyboy in it as well. Of course Kendji Ladyboy Girac is in it. That tells you everything. Honestly, is this MANLINESS? Is there any MANLINESS left in France? We have all in Europe become so effete, so emasculated, but nowhere it seems to me worse than in France. If, if, if their music is any guide. I try on Youtube to find something more interesting, with more guts, more balls, more oomph, but only can find Maitre Gims, Izia, perhaps. Oh, but is English music better? 19 Ed Shit Sheeran songs in the Top 20? It is modern music. 2007-9 was like a golden age—massive tunes from Timbaland, Furtado, Timberlake, Kanye. Music these days is as weak as piss, as is the male condition. We need a return of the barbarians—reason for the triumph of Trump perhaps, and rise of Marine Le Pen, more balls than any man in France. Stand up for your own culture, be like a wolf. You think me anti-multiculture? No way. I am pro-multiculture—but multiculture with balls, with your own spirit. No self-castration, and self-emasculation, no self-sterilisation, no self-surrender, no self-diminution, no self-suicide. Stand up like lions for your own culture, and let in all the full exoticism and colour and fruit of other cultures, too. But no, not this weak as piss effeminate weak as piss Ladyboy Kendji Girac surrender.

At least today I got to 3pm still feeling I am in the MIDDLE of a drinking session rather than already fast asleep like yesterday

At least today I got to 3pm still feeling I am in the MIDDLE of a drinking session, rather than already fast asleep like yesterday. Not only did Red Devil not have Jupiler on tap, all the others were off too, so I gave up and went to the toilet, to find the lights were not working in the toilets. Further sign, if sign were needed. Back to La Dernière Minute, last bar in the Rue d’Aerschot.