Tuesday, 31 July 2018

8pm Boulevard Adolphe Max. How quiet it is

8pm Boulevard Adolphe Max. How quiet it is. Hardly anybody on the street. No traffic at all, because Rogier is completely closed due to ‘roadworks’. Roadworks bit of an understatement. So even more quiet here than usual.

An unexpected Channel crossing by boat







No enthusiasm for Brussels in the morning. Sure it will come

No enthusiasm for Brussels in the morning. Sure it will come. 2150 Sunday night. No, still no enthusiasm. REALLY low in energy tonight. No sleep all day of course. Journey to work turned out to be less painful than I feared. No.17 to St Paul's then turned around and shocked to see a No.15 pulled up right behind us! Thank God I could run and he opened his doors for me, but he was only going to Aldwych, but there I was able to JUST catch a No.23 which brought me all the way here. Could have been a lot worse.
Forgot my -- shirt though! Concentrating so much on remembering everything to take to Brussels with me. Oh and forgot my sponge didn't I. Just remembered. And shower gel.
Yes, so pretty low in energy, enthusiasm, mojo in general. Hope to liven up tomorrow. To see a voluptuous woman stripping naked on a stage; nothing better.

I did drop off for about an hour when I got home

I did drop off for about an hour when I got home, woke 11 and got train to Charing Cross and just stayed in the Calcutta the whole time for 7 pints. Natalie behind bar serving someone else, I got start of an erection straightaway. Tight black top with laces. Swelling as I was sitting on my stool as well. Happy to stay there. Slept through to 2 in the morning, then it was just starting to lash down with rain. Nothing else to say.

Sunday, 29 July 2018

I want to be in a classical music concert where the fog outside actually penetrates the hall

I want to be in a classical music concert where the fog outside actually penetrates the hall.
So if I am not going to -- Saturday maybe I COULD jump on coach to Brussels?!? 60% chance of rain all day. Oh but God, that 7 hour coach journey back Sunday morning, to do it all again Monday morning. Be smart. ?  *** On train to work I WAS thinking about -- Saturday. I was thinking you can hold everything back for Brussels, but then you know what it's like when you get there. You walk into Cine Paris and the two films are absolute dross, can't wait to get out to Fifth, and then the girls at Fifth are absolute dross, and you think well what now? Was that it? You go to Empire later and absolutely dire girls there, and you think fuck was this what I came all this way for?

Saturday, 28 July 2018

Saturday coach £26 plus £17 coming back 7am Sunday. £43 total. Plus 1 night Max. I COULD BOOK THE MONDAY TO WEDNESDAY TRIP NOW FOR THE £71

Saturday coach £26 plus £17 coming back 7am Sunday. £43 total. Plus 1 night Max. I COULD BOOK THE MONDAY TO WEDNESDAY TRIP NOW FOR THE £71. And if I ALSO wanted to go Saturday I can add that at short notice, for just an extra £43 ! Well it's done. MONDAY BUS £32 WEDNESDAY AM EUROSTAR £39=TOTAL £71. MAX HOTEL £53 A NIGHT=£106. TOTAL £177 BEFORE I GET THERE. And I will book Saturday off work at least. I SHOULD allow myself a two-night stay in Brussels every 3 months. It releases the pressure. *** Oh but won't it be fascinating to see who is at Fifth after all this time! To be back in Cine Paris for a LONG session hopefully. To see those fantastic busty window girls again. In hotel by 5 Monday, to Fifth by 7, in Cine Paris by 9, in Empire by 11. Then all day Tuesday to do my pilgrimages, buy shoes, and try Aerschot, before an EARLY Cine Paris, EARLY Fifth. I did the right thing. Oh, and I HAVE got Saturday off. Rushed to get the early train home so I could see black girl at F--. Black skirt, black tight top and brown cardigan, what a phenomenal figure. In bed by 940 then opened eyes at 140 so almost 4 hours. So Saturday. 9am bus from Victoria? £43. 15'4. Almost under. Do my research this coming week on Byron in Brussels, Baudelaire at Hotel du Grand Miroir, the ball, etc. Alizee, Rohff, etc. Christ I AM excited about it. And I will arrive sober, 5pm Saturday. Bursting. *** 2203 Monday night. "I sailed from Alexandria in a purple trireme to perform sacred rites – sacrifices and libations – in honor of Endymion." Cavafy of course.

Anyway it will be nice to have this coming Saturday off and then Monday and Tuesday nights I can spend in Brussels

Anyway, it will be nice to have this coming Saturday off, and then Monday and Tuesday nights I can spend in Brussels, home Wednesday morning. NO. MADNESS. SAVE THAT £300 FOR MY CREDIT CARDS. Go at end of August/September, my September. Then finally I can have my Friday & Saturday nights in Brussels Empire. NO, stop this madness. It is 24th July already, just one month to go until my end of August break. You know how much September means to me, how much better I will feel if I can wait until then. And you know how you hate those bus journeys. And you STILL owe more than £20,000. Not even down to 19K yet. I can even book my Eurostar and hotel now if I want. But do not travel before 1st September.
On the other hand (!) why not get it out of my system now? Go quickly Monday & Tuesday. It will be rubbish then that will make me not want it again for a long time.
OK this is the deal. I will take Saturday off. Then no reason why I cannot jump on the coach Saturday morning if I want to, £26, and then get the coach back Sunday morning, £17. That gives me all Saturday evening to enjoy Cine Paris, 5th Avenue, Empire. OR no reason why I cannot jump on the bus Monday morning £25, and then get the Eurostar back Wednesday morning for £39. FOR JUST £39 EUROSTAR RETURN I WOULD BE MAD NOT TO BOOK IT WOULDN'T I ? If there is a £39 Eurostar ticket sitting there Wednesday morning, crazy not to take it.

Thursday, 26 July 2018

Going back to London to see Zara unthinkable. Keep plugging away

Going back to London to see Zara unthinkable. Keep plugging away. ** Yes, dangerous typing all these Inna and Mariana notes from last year. And it is raining all week in Brussels this coming week! Lucky I am working every day! I seriously start to think about going to Brussels for one night only, would have to be a Friday or Saturday when Empire is good. If I take Saturday off and go see -- at -- I will probably get through £150 as I always do, that would pay for coach to Brussels, Eurostar back, and night in hotel. Seriously thinking about it. I went January, then 3-month gap until April. Now a 3 month gap until July. Oh but Christ the exchange rate! Just 1.11. Better to take Saturday off and just go have a --- with Lolita in Soho then enjoy Calcutta for few hours.
You can't be all austerity. And to be honest it is better to go to Brussels than to go to -- and end up getting "involved" with --. For the £150 I spend in -- I could be f--king Inna and Mariana and God knows who else. Then walk away free. Well, I have checked prices. Saturday bus £26 and Tuesday afternoon Eurostar just £25. Max 3 nights just £130. Total cost just £182.
Christ, how much Starboy reminds me of those last two Brussels trips, December and January.
Christ to see Inna again! Christ to see Leyla again! Oh Christ you know what Monday morning Snap Eurostar is just £49! Trouble is they will put me on the 6am train so I will miss it anyway. Oh the tension. Anyway I feel it is too far gone now. I AM going to Brussels this coming weekend or Monday.
Weight a clear 15'4 when I woke today. Going home I was thinking just get in my lovely big white bed and think how lovely to be in my bed; no stress, or tension, just think how lovely to be in my bed. And I thought it today when I got to bed and immediately felt stress lifting from my shoulders, and then I slept through to 439pm!

I had a pretty awful day but feel high and inspired now

I had a pretty awful day but feel high and inspired now. Another long session finally closed laptop at 1055am but was long while still tossing & turning, then woke at 1218 with indigestion unable to take a breath, gasping for about 45 seconds before I could breathe. Horrible. And I ATE nothing before bed. Stomach  horribly bloated and burping a lot.
If I did not want to go drinking Saturday before a quick Lolita, maybe try Sunday before a Zara?!
Despite waking with the bloated stomach, weight just about still 15'4. Despite lack of sleep, feel OK this Saturday night, 1am Sunday now. I don't know why I feel so happy tonight. Listening to music again maybe helps. Dangerous typing up these notes from Brussels last year, the trip I f--ked Inna at last and huge bosoms Mariana. What an incredible week that was.
A Munich mix tape is Junior Senior, ET,  J-Lo Loud and other one. Vienna is Bologna, Falco etc. Brussels Amine, Joe Dassin etc. Berlin/Hamburg all Hurn Haiyti etc. Christ how I look forward to my handbrake being taken off, ever?

Tuesday, 24 July 2018

Christ so many sexy girls on the way home. I am LOVING this new later train

Christ, so many sexy girls on the way home. I am LOVING this new later train. Blonde in pink T-shirt and blue jeans, mega bosoms bouncing past me grinning knowing I was looking. Black sheath dress blonde black stockings on platform 3 getting off. So many more I cannot even remember. It is absolutely visibly true that British women's average bra size is going up all the time. You can see it all around you with your own eyes. Then coming to work, in Strand stunning yellow blonde, in skin tight black top over nice bosoms, but tight jeans over most fantastic arse of all time. Bus passed and re-passed her about four times, stunning. And here I am twelve nights at work. Mind you, it gives me the CHANCE to see all these sexy girls at Charing Cross every day. Make the most of it.

Another wonderful long session when I got home, Various Babes, then some Valory Irene, Paola Rios and finally Sophie Dee

Another wonderful long session when I got home, Various Babes, then some Valory Irene, Paola Rios and finally Sophie Dee. Then I was still randy and could not sleep for long while. Finally opened eyes 318pm so a solid four hours at least, to find three messages from --. Just felt oh no. A sense of dread, not wanting any involvement whatsoever, at same time as instant erection thinking of her in that black PVC dress with her incredible bottom hanging out. Still not read the messages. Thank God I am working 12 nights in a row.
So a clear 15'4 when I got up. Though up to 15'6-7 after steak dinner. Giving up the chocolate at night and giving up eating before bed finally bearing fruit.


Monday, 23 July 2018

How much I love being able to keep my hair shaved just the way I like it every day; and that only came about because of the alopecia. How much we owe to when things go wrong

How much I love being able to keep my hair shaved just the way I like it every day; and that only came about because of the alopecia. How much we owe to when things go wrong. And the other thing. Both discoveries of the past two years. Just in the last two years I have had some of the greatest sexual experiences of my life, Adelina, Inna, Lucy, Andrea, Manuela, Amanda WSK, DIANE, LEYLA etc etc. Life does seem to get so much better and richer and more pleasurable as you get older.
But still I must delay my return to Europe until November. Just three months to get through. Months of working, saving lots of money, lovely London pub-watching in the Calcutta; occasional strippers in -- or --. Finishing THE STRUGGLE TO STAY MARRIED, and TWELFTH NIGHT 2014. Christ, what am I waiting for?! It is all there already! Both of them! Just correct spelling mistakes and upload!

Sunday, 22 July 2018

How amazing it will be when I get back to Fifth Avenue and if I see Inna again after all this time

How amazing it will be when I get back to Fifth Avenue and if I see Inna again, after all this time. To see Jennifer again in Empire. Should I not book the week now? If in August I can almost reduce my credit card debt by £3,000, what a great achievement that will be. But I have to keep pressing on. It is now or never. Work night after night, stay home day after day with my ferns and my classical music, and my garden. Proms starting just as the Tour de France finishes. Already we are on verge of August! How far away that seemed back in January when I returned destitute from Brussels resolving to stop travelling and strippers and save all my money. Six months of saving already flown by. Temptation to return to Brussels already extreme. A quick one nighter? Just to pop in to Empire again and Fifth Avenue again. On one of those Saturday nights. Christ, yes, how tempting. £78 even on Snap on Saturday 5th, even before hotels, even before going anywhere and doing anything, No keep keep keep my powder dry till November. The volcanic nights.

Saturday, 21 July 2018

Venice in Italy Tarot reminding me not to come at a situation at work with arrogance and narcissism

Venice in Italy Tarot reminding me not to come at a situation at work with arrogance, and narcissism. There is enough for everybody to go around. Be more gentle, and giving. Surrender is the path to survival. Be happy, and realise how happy you are. You CHOOSE to be bothered by things, and stress yourself. Choose not to be bothered by anything.
Feel a bit low. Depressed. Grateful for my job, and chance to reduce my credit card debt by almost £500 a month. Say yes and surrender to everything at work. White flag all the time. Let nothing jeopardise my job.

Sunday, 15 July 2018

10PM gently raining outside all night. Just a 5-pint session in the Calcutta today. Again no one of any note seen all day

10PM gently raining outside all night. Just a 5-pint session in the Calcutta today. Again no one of any note seen all day. Would I rather spend money on Soho Tina and Beatrice, or save it for Brussels and the cold icy air? But how much more I crave my own little nest again, on a BUS ROUTE to work. That is why I just stayed in the Calcutta. Maybe tomorrow I won't go out at all. Really really clear my room out.
A book that combines everything I have been through, the extreme Eros of my life plus the moths bashing their tiny brains out against me, as I play them like a piano. A great work that combines it all. I still fancy seeing Beatrice again but save it for next week. Maybe late Saturday.

Saturday, 14 July 2018

I only feel real sexual arousal AFTER having done a good long stint of writing. It gets my adrenalin pumping

I only feel real sexual arousal AFTER having done a good long stint of writing. It gets my adrenalin pumping. A story but a guidebook to the fleshpots of Europe, in Vienna the character goes to Manhattan, Tete a Tete, Wahringer Kino, Fortuna Kino, WSK, as well as KHM, Belvedere, St Stephen's and the Butterfly House (with Lotta his 18-year-old Swedish barmaid). Sad sweet encounter. A Young Werther. A Childe Harolde. THE GRAND TOUR. A chapter in each city, and a chapter on each train journey between them, the character's thoughts on stock exchanges, bourses, how they stand for money, for the pound or the euro, and each pound gives you a naked strip, each 25 euros gives you a naked private dance, etc. The eroticism of railway stations, entry points to each city. Hotels. Everything that facilitates the slaking of his erotic lust. And he feels this erotic lust constantly. He always wants new flesh, to see new bosoms, new buttocks.

Work on Twelfth Night and this new story "She rolled a cotton wool bud dipped in champagne around the head of his penis"

Work on Twelfth Night and this new story "She rolled a cotton wool bud dipped in champagne around the head of his penis." A true story but make it a fiction. Spend a week in Brussels in November going on all my pilgrimages, Byron's house, Baudelaire's hotel, the most famous Ball in the World, etc etc. The character in the story is not a diplomat based in that city, but a pilgrim on a European journey to make pilgrimage to his heroes of literature art and music. And has incredible erotic adventures along the way. A Tristram Shandy.


Thursday, 12 July 2018

Ah my lovely bed. And that is all you really need isn't it

Ah, my lovely bed. And that is all you really need isn't it. Lovely bed, laptop, lamp on floor, ferns, classical music. When I look around my room, out of everything my eyes can see what do I ever actually touch or use? Almost nothing. I might as well bin it ALL now, the books, the red dictionary. A Real Person, Thomas Mann, Bradshaws, newspapers, etc etc. The TV, the computer, monitor and keyboard. The music system (defunct). Everything can go. One day this week do that. Everything gone.
Monday I got the 11 o'clock (ten carriages), and got on front for change. Two gorgeous blondes at E-- made it worthwhile being brave, blonde ponytail, tight white shirt, prominent big bosoms the pick of them. I would never have seen her sitting at back of train. Then just had  a 6-pint session in the Calcutta. Didn't see anyone at all I remember. Home for lovely pork chops then sleep. No desire for -- Beatrice, really I keep thinking I need to save my money for when A-- comes back, but now I think I hope I stay away from her as well. Remember the cold icy air of the mountains. Remember the September return to Europe, and that cold icy air. Remember my own nest, lamp on floor, sleep on floor amidst the ferns and classical music. And nothing else.

Could try Zara today or Lolita again. Saw no sexy girls yesterday really

Could try Zara today, or Lolita again. Saw no sexy girls yesterday really. I wanted to see some strippers but Sunset was poor. And I was down because of hangover from earlier of course. Try -- next Saturday I am off.
Really didn’t feel like going out again today. I don't like Sundays after all. Which makes me think it IS better to work weekends! Not bothered about Lolita anymore, not too fussed to see Zara today. So no, no great return to life for Soho then. Good!
Actually better to use up my holiday on Wednesday and Thursdays! Is it? Weekends are so quiet and easy at work. Look forward to getting train to the Calcutta on Monday already. Try Tina Tuesday perhaps. What a pleasure to be sitting downstairs watching Tour de France on the big TV on a Sunday afternoon. *** WORK ON BOOK. Book filled with ferns and classical music, lamps on floor. Strippers on stage in dark basement club. Paperback book.


NONE of the excitement of last Saturday. Empty train to Victoria

NONE of the excitement of last Saturday. Empty train to Victoria, none of the busty teenage girls of last week. Empty carriage when I got to Victoria. No one sexy at Victoria. Just had one pint as I was worried the buses were soon going to stop because of the Pride parade. Had three in Moggs, then went to Lolita. Just handjob only as he lay her head on my shoulder, and kissed my cheek and chest. The more sweet and tender I was with her the more she was with me. Left with my cock sticking up over my belt, she laughing. Not sure I will go back. But interesting I had no desire for sex at all. Knew I would feel nothing so what is the point?
One in Calcutta on way back but then was on way home by 130pm thinking I could then sleep and come back alter. Woke up 630pm heaving and unable to take a breath the WORST EVER. Almost a whole minute of being unable to take an inward breath. Terrifying. Too much chocolate cake before bed.
Still forced myself out to catch 730pm train. Was shocked NO sexy girls, on a Saturday evening? No party girls at all. Bit more talent passing the Calcutta but not much. Think I had four in the Calcutta before going to Sunset. Carmen was pretty but nothing special. Two Peronis then I left and got the 1130pm train home. Home just after midnight.
So going out on a Saturday night not so exciting after all. Not missing much. And it was hellish busy because of Pride of course. Normal Saturday might be better.

Thursday, 5 July 2018

Well had a low key three pints in Calcutta then home, slept a bit, dozed a bit, lovely dream about a resurrected Scotsman

Well, had a low key three pints in Calcutta then home, slept a bit, dozed a bit, lovely dream about a resurrected Scotsman, different lay out though, 10 girls or so, but no sign of stage. Many familiar faces, but one very pretty new girl came to me and complained she had not had a dance in 2 & a half hours, before she changed and left when I was desperate to speak more to her. I woke with an erection but by then I was already thinking of Saturday when I went to Lolita, and Tuesday Tina. Opened eyes just after 5. Should be ferocious rain and thunder when I am coming home tomorrow and turning around to go back to Victoria. By 11 should have passed! Umbrella! Or coat? *****
Can you believe it if Soho was going to come back to some kind of life for me?! Lolita at Romilly, Zara 52 Greek, Tina Newport; maybe a Saturday night Sunset Strip might have ONE sexy girl for me at least; or Beatrice --. Walking from Romilly with cock rolling in my trousers back to Sunset, then back to Romilly again; could these times return?! Oh temptation to pop back to Brussels for ONE NIGHT ONLY just to pop into Cine Paris and Fifth Avenue again and a Friday night Empire to see Jennifer's breasts again. Wonder if I will  be able to resist that end of August trip. Well I have got five days off starting this Saturday!

Christ I cannot believe it I hooked another girl outside the Calcutta!

Christ I cannot believe it I hooked another girl outside the Calcutta! It must have been around 1pm during my fourth pint, one side black bob, long black silk top over black leggings, black T-shirt tight so I could see outline of her bra. Bosoms not huge but prominent. Dark skin, like Persian or something. And out of corner of eye she saw me, then did that so so so so typical thing she started yawning! Always the biggest giveaway, trying to look nonchalant, when in fact her heart was racing. How do I hook girls like this? Are my eyes like lasers? So so pretty, so so sexy. Then she started talking and laughing on her phone again to appear nonchalant. Then I went up to Romilly to check Ruby. Pretty girl, hair pulled right back, glasses, laughing, giggling when she said 10 minutes, I said I will wait 11 minutes, she thought that very funny. I left and just came back for two more in the Calcutta.

Wednesday, 4 July 2018

Remember if do go to Victoria go into M&S. Watching some massage videos this morning how much I yearned for a Chinese massage again

Remember if do go to Victoria go into M&S. Watching some massage videos this morning how much I yearned for a Chinese massage again, no matter how old she was. I remember now, what day was it? I actually went into one to ask the prices, oh I think the Charing Cross Road one, so that must have been Wednesday. Can you believe it was only YESTERDAY that I did the Iron Duke and Lolita thing? It seems so momentous it must have been ages ago, but it was just yesterday. Shows how my desires and mind have expanded because of it. So looking forward to going out drinking again these next two days. It is the greatest pleasure of my life. In summer especially.
Start going into MORE Chinese places to ask the prices, just as excuse to ogle the maids!


Tuesday, 3 July 2018

How I wish I could do my -- naked. Still so randy

How I wish I could do my -- naked. Still so randy. How wonderful it was to see those teenage girls running to get on my carriage at --, holding hands to their chests to stop their big breasts bouncing. And the wonderful febrile nubile atmosphere at Victoria, and that lovely big girl who made my cock stir in the Iron Duke. So excited I was on that train into London looking forward to seeing a new girl Lolita. And how wonderful to go up her stairs and have her herself open the door to me, what a beautiful vision, especially when she turned around and I saw that incredible arse. And then that extraordinary huge boobs pizza bar girl in white tight top. What a day. A course changing day.

Christ I am so randy! I had four pints so easily in the Iron Duke and had swelling almost all the time

Christ I am so randy! I had four pints so easily in the Iron Duke, and had swelling almost all the time, first for the voluptuous kitchen girl in blue jeans and black top, then woman at ticket machine in cut-off denim shorts. Then black top girl on bus. Then Lolita oh yes, that arse. Nice enough bosoms, but that arse incredible. Looked then went for one more in the Three Greyhounds (amazingly empty) watching incredible black ponytail white top girl with massive knickers in Pollo Bar cleaning the pizza bar windows. 10 out of 10. Did the £20 deed with Lolita. Got her to undress slowly for me before doggy and then try to finish by hand. I will be back. Suddenly now I want to see Ruby, Jenny, Laura, Roxanne, all of them. She has brought Soho back to life for me. Week days or not.
How good it was to be naked in room again with girl. No problem at all with instant erection before she even came back in. And no PORN CINEMA needed either; the arousal of the train to Victoria, being in the Iron Duke, the bus to Romilly, the girls passing the Three Greyhounds, was MORE THAN ENOUGH to get me super ready for Lolita. Want to go to Zara again now. AND WANT TO SPEND AN HOUR WITH LOLITA! Crazy. Just to enjoy laying with that nubile young girl for an hour. I have found a new star.

Monday, 2 July 2018

START AGAIN. RISE LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE FLAMES AGAIN. IT IS WHAT I ALWAYS DO

START AGAIN. RISE LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE FLAMES AGAIN. IT IS WHAT I ALWAYS DO.
ALL THAT MATTERS IS PORNOGRAPHY. RETREATING VERY SMALL & HUMBLE AGAIN. FERNS AND CLASSICAL MUSIC.

Sunday, 1 July 2018

NOTHING THAT HAPPENS AT WORK IS IMPORTANT. IT IS ONLY PUBLISHING MY BLOGS, MY DIARIES FROM 1997 AND 2007 AND MY TRAVEL DIARIES

NOTHING THAT HAPPENS AT WORK IS IMPORTANT. IT IS ONLY PUBLISHING MY BLOGS, MY DIARIES FROM 1997 AND 2007, AND MY TRAVEL DIARIES. Documenting my life like Samuel Pepys and C.P.Cavafy.
Turn my life into Historical Record, historical document. With maps and charts and dates and statistics. Mythologise myself. Like I was documenting some other great man. Hagiography of self.
So I did it, I went out and had four lunchtime pints in the Calcutta--and I loved it! So MANY sexy girls, big bosoms, big arses, beautiful faces. Black hair, red top, pale blue jeans massive arse. The beige top black girl with glasses and massive zeppelins and low cut top deep deep cleavage, smiling as she knew I wanted her. So many others. Funny Lucia behind bar doing stocktaking or something ignored me throughout being served all 4 times. Yes, I think maybe these lunchtime drinks will become a habit? So tempted to go on Saturday to check out this Romilly Street Lolita as well.