Tuesday, 30 October 2018

I feel a bit tense I think because I cannot get a 0% credit card or loan but no need! I am paying off my credit card debt no problem at all

I feel a bit tense I think because I cannot get a 0% credit card or loan, but no need! I am paying off my credit card debt no problem at all. Just this year it has come down from £22900 to £19300, and that is with STILL going to strip clubs and still with three trips to Brussels, a fourth imminent. So just carry on like that and in just FIVE YEARS I will owe nothing! That is not bad is it!
Credit cards down by £360 this month. If I can reduce it by £333 each month that is £1000 every three months, that is £4000 a year. Not bad. Keep going. That is why I MUST NOT go to Vienna in the New Year.
*** On -- platform tonight with train parked opposite felt head up and confident thinking: I have got my books, I have got Cine Paris and Fifth Avenue, I have got -- at --. Life is sweet. Credit card debt come down by £3,600 already this year, so by 4K by Christmas. Not bad. When I am ready I have also got WSK, and Manhattan and Cafe Westend in Vienna.
That cricket expression is such a good one--if you're going to flash, flash hard. If you're going to do something risky, if you do it with full conviction and confidence you are more likely to get away with it; do it  nervously and hesitantly then very very unlikely.

Monday, 29 October 2018

Beer on train home then lamb roll then long session I am afraid, voluptuous Italian women, then Hitomi, then Brazilian teens

Beer on train home then lamb roll then long session I am afraid, voluptuous Italian women, then Hitomi, then Brazilian teens. Slept 12-250 no more than that. Then was too randy again to go back to sleep. It pained me to see --'s name on the -- rota this Sunday, but thank God I am working. She is going to cost me a lot of money. They have a nice bunch of girls again. All very watchable. All worth barefoot fivers and private dances. Big big stomach, 15'4 again.

Sunday, 28 October 2018

With such infrequent travelling I really need to make the most of it now. Go to the videokabins and spend time in them, spend a lot of time in the porn cinemas, spend a lot of time in Cafe Westend etc

With such infrequent travelling I really need to make the most of it now. Go to the videokabins and spend time in them, spend a lot of time in the porn cinemas, spend a lot of time in Cafe Westend etc etc. Return to Cafe Dome. 28th October! Brussels on  November 10 so close.
Friday I ended up getting the 243 to Charing Cross. Three in the Calcutta then up past the Lemon Tree to look inside, same bearded man behind the bar only, so back to crowded Marquis and three absolute beauties behind the bar, all Halloween made up and 30s costumes. Stunning, and then as I sat by door Regina came by in tiny grey vest over those massive massive knockers. Looking bigger than ever before. Could not stop looking at them. Black dress brunette voluptuous behind bar as well, long black dress, black stockings, hair half cobalt blue grey on one side and brunette on other. Knew I had to stay, had three Stellas, then back to Calcutta for a couple more I think but cannot remember.
Fat face today of course, but now I want to go back to the Marquis asap! And their sister pubs The Sun in Long Lane and the White Hart in Drury Lane. A proper pub crawl on Tuesday---while going in Barclays to update my postcode, and checking out Golden Square. I had a desultory wank in the early hours and straightaway thought is this what you are going all the way to Vienna for? Don't you dare! But now of course I am thinking of WSK again and Cafe Westend and Manhattan. Depends totally on Wednesday's outcome.
Pretty blonde girl in Calcutta with lovely big arse in blue jeans I saw when she left, another really made up face came in and sat opposite me later. HA! I AM STILL WINDING THEM UP. I AM STILL GETTING UNDER THEIR SKIN. I AM STILL PLAYING THEM LIKE A PIANO. STILL INFURIATING THEM AND TORMENTING THEM. STILL POISONING THEM. REALISE AGAIN MY SUPREME POWER AND DOMINANCE OVER THEM. THE GIANT BLACK BUTTERFLY LOOMING ABOVE THEM. ** I act, they react. I lead, they try to clutch hold of my coattails. I feast, they try to grab crumbs from my table.
So clocks have gone back. Another 5 hours to go. Interesting -- wanted to check I had his correct phone number.
After my little ninety-minute nap on couch, went to bathroom to see my wonderfully swollen and fat cock. Made me want to be in Brussels now, in Cine Paris and Fifth Avenue. Look forward to my beer on train home. 29th October. Brussels so close.


Friday, 26 October 2018

Finally forced myself to look at my Casanova MS after 5am and suddenly decided I DO want to publish it on the Therapy site

Finally forced myself to look at my Casanova MS after 5am and suddenly decided I DO want to publish it on the Therapy site. Straightaway massive page views and likes! Now reading through the MS it came to life, as I have to decide what is worth uploading and what is not. That made me so happy on the train home and I read Cold Icy Air ALL the way home and was enthused by that as well. After feeling such uplift after realising I am on course still for --K, now realising Casanova IS fantastic. Suddenly I thought, this is Jupiter! I looked up into the misty grey sky and felt I could SEE it. I could feel its heat. Feel its gravity on me! Enthused. ***  Feeling so enthused I started frigging as soon as I got in bed, so turned on. Big black booty music videos on YouTube to start with, progressing to Kim Miller, Kim Kardashian, Kim Eternity! A wonderful -- to finish, fluid, liquid. Dangerously aroused when I woke at 138pm as well, thinking about Cine Paris, Cine ABC, those hourly strippers who came on for two songs while men carried on openly wanking with their big fat cocks stuck out of their trousers in front of her, Fifth Avenue. And of course the clocks go back Saturday night! Always the time when my eroticism runs out of control! And now of course given extra force by Jupiter! Not only are my tides of cum being pulled by the moon but now by the giant gravitational attraction of Jupiter. Hard to see how I can AVOID Vienna in the New Year.
*** Lamm's is now Kennedy's Irish pub! Open 11am with pub grub dishes and sports. Christ, I cannot wait to get there now! Oh, but come on, what else to do in Munich? And Cafe Westend much better. Calm down. 

Thursday, 25 October 2018

Going to Vienna in the New Year is really out of the question

Going to Vienna in the New Year is really out of the question. That inevitably will use up a THOUSAND pounds. Night in Munich, three nights in Vienna, night in Brussels - £200. Eurostar perhaps £60. Train to Vienna and back perhaps £250. That is £500 before we even start on spending money for 5-6 days. Credit Card interest rates are 50% higher than they were before the crash, and are actually around 20-25%! Got to reserve every spare penny I have got for credit card reduction only. Check what my different APRs really are.
Christ that Vietnamese girl is so sexy. Wearing a pink slip like a negligee, bare shoulders, black stockings. Sexy little thing.

Wednesday, 24 October 2018

So I fell off the wagon yesterday. Rushed to -- to see --, got in about 520pm and of course she was on stage naked already

So I fell off the wagon yesterday. Rushed to -- to see --, got in about 520pm and of course she was on stage naked already. Wow, absolutely massively voluptuous bosoms and arse. Like a Bulgarian Tess or Sports Bar Alice. Knew I would be staying, and -- curled up on sofa looking so pretty. Later --'s attitude turned out to be stupid, wanted £10 for taking shoes off, settled for £7 then complained when I insisted on the £3 back. Her attitude turned me off straightaway, and then in private dance she just SITS on you, and does nothing. Most boring private dance ever. Got -- to take shoes off for her last dance and then had wonderful private dance with her, hands rubbing my cock a lot. -- expressed in suprise "What's that? Is it your DICK?" Impressed. Or disgusted. Started day with £68 and left having given up my very last pound.

Sunday, 21 October 2018

Some stunning sexy girls on way to work this Saturday night of course

Some stunning sexy girls on way to work this Saturday night of course. Getting off -- teenage girl with her mother, shot me a sharp sideways glance as she passed my window, polkadot white top, hair in bun. I think I do have some feral erotic attraction about me. Like that pink top blonde saw on trip to Munich. Her attraction to me was instant and fierce.
I think my drinking sessions in Calcutta should also involve a little bus ride from one end of the Strand to the other, or up Charing Cross Road and down again, just to see some sexy girls and give me a break from the Calcutta. I can sleep Monday when I get in as this Lilly is always on the 5pm shift I think.

Saturday, 20 October 2018

Actually I just remember when I left the Calcutta to get bus to Optician I had a semi-erection all the way along the Strand and Fleet Street at all the sexy nubile girls I saw

Actually I just remember, when I left the Calcutta to get bus to Optician I had a semi-erection all the way along the Strand and Fleet Street at all the sexy nubile girls I saw, starting with the -- lookalike approaching me at Strand bus stop going in HSBC then coming out and passing me. That litttle bus ride was SO sexy. Shows how hungry I am. 20th October, the Brussels trip so close now.

Friday, 19 October 2018

A real misty autumnal morning. It feels portentous

A real misty autumnal morning. It feels portentous. I felt so self-conscious all evening from moment I arrived last night and then leaving this morning I am sure that was -- smoking on other side of road with -- with her back deliberately turned, and -- just made a comment and -- burst out laughing and made eye contact with me. It felt mocking at me. This increased my feelings of self-consciousness and identity fracture and repulsiveness, and combined with the cold mist (not really cold quite mild) it felt suddenly like that October journey back in 1999, the start of my Grand Tour. Sober, so lacerated, hypersensitive, feeling walking down a street with no skin to cover me. And it was quite a nice feeling to feel again!

Thursday, 18 October 2018

Having lovely Fu Manchu fantasy in bed

Having lovely Fu Manchu fantasy in bed, investigating murder of professor, the housemaid bun hair, white tight top, black long skirt, young, and so curvy, busty, of course the detective starts f**king her during the questioning, then the other one does as well. Petrie AND Nayland Smith. That's before the daughter of Fu Manchu even arrives outside. Story starts with thunder though, lots of rain, page describing nothing but rain. Then jumpcuts and pauses in narrative, to close up on her breasts in profile filling the screen so we can see protuding outline of nipples.
FU MANCHU REMEMBER. EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE IS IN AN EROTIC STEAMY FU MANCHU FILM.

Wednesday, 17 October 2018

Funny reading last year's diary and remembering I booked train tickets from Brussels to Vienna and all the way back again for just total £158!

Funny reading last year's diary, and remembering I booked train tickets from Brussels to Vienna and all the way back again for just total £158! If you put a £50 Eurostar on top that is £208 for London to Vienna and back again by train. That is with my DB discount of course, which I now lack, but it shows how cheap the trains can be. And oh God I hate flying. It terrifies me. Five days in Vienna is too much anyway. Better to spend first night in Munich, three nights in Vienna, last night back in Brussels or two. Investigate cost of another DB Bahn Card. ANYTHING to avoid ever flying again. Jupiter in my sign now remember! *** What a pleasure it is arriving in Munich Hauptbahnhof on that train journey from Brussels; arriving in Wien Westbahnhof on that train journey from Munich.  As long as there is a porn cinema somewhere in Europe I will be happy. As long as there is a floozie bar or two.


Monday, 15 October 2018

15th of October ALREADY! Less than a month until I travel back to Brussels for four whole nights!

15th of October ALREADY! Less than a month until I travel back to Brussels for four whole nights! It is getting so close now. Seems like Mary is back at 52 Greek Street. I was tempted to go see her today, or Lolita in Romilly Street. Maybe next time.

Sunday, 14 October 2018

So many stunning girls on way to work this Saturday night. Four girls in little black dresses at least

So many stunning girls on way to work this Saturday night. Four girls in little black dresses at least, one going in Grosvenor Garden party, deep v-neck cleavage in Piccadilly, lace see-through in Regent Street, then teenager leaving Cafe Royal. And leaving -- Station beautiful black petite girl in black bob, pink coat, red lipstick, stunningly beautiful.
Even with £215 Max bill factored in, and £200 withdrawal of spending money, November is still ending at no worse than -173.
Big decision follows that, do I go to Vienna on Twelfth Night, and do I fly or train it? I suspect cost will decide it in the end. It is lovely to go for a whole five days so you really can relax. I hate flying so much but just two & a half hours to Vienna! Instead of TWO DAYS by train! It is a PAINFULLY long journey by train, the agony of those forced changes at Frankfurt for the massive long leg of the trip down to Munich. I think Vienna always has to be flying--then there is always easy possibility of just a daytrip to Munich to spend one night there.Use Vienna as base to visit Munich for a night; even to Nuremberg!?!
I cannot forget that long look from Natalie at Calcutta last time she gave me change, WANTING me to look up and make eye contact so she could give me that big grin. Felt like a come on. OH! and just remembered that STUNNING girl was back in Victoria Marks & Spencer's again, justifying my decision to get Victoria train instead of Charing Cross. She is extraordinary, Persian/Asian/Japanese/Peruvian like a mix of all.

Friday, 12 October 2018

I am in the Days of Erotic Agony now. 29 days till I travel back to Brussels

I am in the Days of Erotic Agony now. 29 days till I travel back to Brussels. *** Christ just tweeting my Lotta stuff makes me realise how many amazing relationships I am missing out on by NOT travelling. The Innas, Lucys,, Leylas, Dianes in Brussels; the Adelinas, Amandas, Jackies in Vienna. Hungry hungry hungry. So one long week in Brussels in November, and one long week in Vienna in January. Hold nothing back for those two weeks. ** 0118 Finally done a bit of interesting work on THERAPY. It really does feel right to set it in Munich, frustrated awakening of sexuality, terrified of doing these shameful things, like Wedekind's Spring Awakening, Earth Spirit etc. Putting some glosses on it at last.

Thursday, 11 October 2018

If I DO fly to Vienna on January 6th it means I can spend a whole week there

If I DO fly to Vienna on January 6th it means I can spend a whole week there. Of course I can always go on a "daytrip" to Munich one day, or Budapest. An entire five days in Vienna again, wouldn't that be relaxing. Sink into Manhattan and Cafe Westend and WSK. Time to explore the other kinos, Tete a Tete, etc. Depends on my Halloween/Day of the Dead --. But I feel so soft & ready & hungry for Brussels and Vienna now. Now the dark nights are here, the witching months. Cold & rainy & foggy, Christ I yearn to travel. The cold icy air of the mountains. I cannot leave Vienna for long, terrified WSK will be closing down sooner or later. That will really be the end of Vienna for me, that is the truth.

Wednesday, 10 October 2018

How incredible--with voucher I have got a £38 return Eurostar trip to Brussels and even 55 euros a night is not bad for four nights in the Max

How incredible--with voucher I have got a £38 return Eurostar trip to Brussels, and even 55 euros a night is not bad for four nights in the Max. And 150 euros already in pocket to spend. Arriving 11am, in hotel lounge at least by midday Friday.  *** Arriving in hotel midday Friday, let me force myself to spend a LONG time in the Cine Paris to try to delay my arrival in Fifth Avenue; or else go to Gare du Nord first of course! DRINK SLOWLY. Christ yes I am excited about the thought of returning to Brussels for a proper four-night stay.

Tuesday, 9 October 2018

The Max booked for four nights in November £215 and Eurostar for just £38!

The Max booked for four nights in November, £215 and Eurostar for just £38! Already got 150 euros in my drawer for starting spend money. If I do FLY to Vienna on Twelfth Night make sure I have got lots of my books published before then! Hurry now to get CASANOVA finished, and then THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS, all finished before January 6th. No reason why not. 9th October now. This period of NOT travelling gives me the time I need to publish everything I have written up to now. A real publishing frenzy.

Monday, 8 October 2018

Christ it seems I was at the Iron Duke until 705pm Saturday! Got there 330pm? Three & a half hours in the Iron Duke

Christ it seems I was at the Iron Duke until 705pm Saturday! Got there 330pm? Three & a half hours in the Iron Duke. There were some sexy girls around though. Seven pints I think? Then lovely beefburgers in rolls when I got home. Today back to the Iron Duke this afternoon, and see if any -- names come. Finally chance to see Lilly?
Cannot find lemons anywhere. Cannot find A4 diary anywhere. Gorgeous little blonde ponytail got on train at -- I think, red jumper black jeans, over big bum, reminding me of blonde M-- at Calcutta Face like a DOLL. So beautiful. Followed her on Victoria platform for a bit before overtaking.

Sunday, 7 October 2018

"Readers who follow me on Twitter will doubtless be aware that I often retweet the mischievous, erotic, literary and sometimes cryptic utterances of a shadowy internet figure who calls himself Dr Ernst Gräfenberg"

"Readers who follow me on Twitter will doubtless be aware that I often retweet the mischievous, erotic, literary and sometimes cryptic utterances of a shadowy internet figure who calls himself Dr Ernst Gräfenberg (the pseudonym is taken from the man who first discovered the G Spot).
While Dr Gräfenberg is not a pickup artist or ‘game’ or ‘red pill’ personality, he is nevertheless a great writer with his own unique take on masculinity.
His website Casanova (Lost Wanderings) charts his florid experiences with strippers and prostitutes—those who used to populate London’s Soho, and latterly those in Brussels, Berlin and Vienna. His three volumes of travel memoirs Autismus, Lotta (Journals) and The Cold Icy Air of Mountains (Journals) all continue to chart these themes.
While the pickup world is generally agnostic at best about such entertainments, taking a step back it is undeniable that they are a central element of the male experience for many and are therefore worthy of examination.
In a way what Dr Gräfenberg’s work achieves is not far from what I aspire to myself, for he presents a highly poetic vision of the unleashed male sexuality, and of male freedom in general.
At the heart of his writing is the conflict between a powerful desire to be free of the bourgeois ,institutions of marriage and family in favour of sexual adventure, and the corresponding loneliness that such a quest can entail. This is something that I relate to strongly, as I’m sure many of my readers do.
Now that Dr Gräfenberg’s three books are available in paperback as well as Kindle editions on Amazon, I interviewed him to find out more about the man behind one of the most consistently-fascinating Twitter accounts in the Western Hemisphere.
Posting my questions to him via Twitter DM, we got into the weeds about the Berlin-Brussels-Vienna triumvirate of naughtiness, writing, his view on the game, pulling strippers, becoming iconic on social media and the constricting nature of relationships." *** The 805am Friday Eurostar going, so get the 530 train from --, and coming back the 556pm, so time to have a last session in Cine Paris or Fifth if I want. Excited now, all of a sudden, even though it never even crossed my mind to book it during the night. So the Eurostar main website has worked out cheaper than the Snap could possibly have been!

Saturday, 6 October 2018

Another wonderful session before sleep, one of those days when I struck a motherlode, an incredible rich seam of untapped porn, a real golden seam

Another wonderful session before sleep, one of those days when I struck a motherlode, an incredible rich seam of untapped porn, a real golden seam. Started with wide areolas and took it from there. Of course it made me SO  hungry for Cine Paris and Fifth Avenue again. Today is Egon Schiele Night of course. That raw hungry sexuality. Making me wait until November will just make it grow. Another five weeks. Take my hunger to the Calcutta and the Iron Duke. Sunset Strip again comes to seem the CHEAP option if I really want to see some bosoms. Just £15 plus maybe another £15 for three bottles. £30 max. Never get out of -- that cheaply.
On way to work thinking my 35 days of erotic agony starts now. If I travel on Friday 10th November. And can WAIT until then. Nothing to stop me jumping on a coach tomorrow morning, Saturday 9am is there! That is the frightening thing. It is so easy to do. Why not? Then stay Saturday night and Sunday night, back home Monday morning. No. The Eurostar back will  cost a fortune even if I endure the pain of the coach going. Oh that blue leggings girl on the ferry. What a memory. Pure eroticism.


Thursday, 4 October 2018

Yes so two in the Iron Duke then four in the Calcutta mainly because N-- was there. After 3rd or 4th pint giving me change, she really was looking at me intently

Yes so two in the Iron Duke then four in the Calcutta, mainly because N-- was there. After 3rd or 4th pint giving me change, she really was looking at me intently until I smiled back and she grinned at me. A very penetrating moment. Couple of sexy girls came in, one stayed and opened her computer just opposite me when she could have sat anywhere. Another one in sexy cut-off skirt came in but straight back out again. For a long time I sat with swollen cock. Enjoyable.
I feel in 2002 I had a massive realisation that I needed to sort myself out and get a job and stay in work, so got the hotel job and have been in continuous employment for 15 years since then. I feel now I have a had s similar moment of truth, that I need to sort my debt out and never use credit cards again. Easier to do on --K than 25 though.

Wednesday, 3 October 2018

I woke 320pm but did not lay down until after 11 due to good Christy Marks/Arianna Sinn/Rachel Raxxx session

I woke 320pm but did not lay down until after 11 due to good Christy Marks/Arianna Sinn/Rachel Raxxx session. Powerful --. So much wanted to be back in a porn cinema, or in a really sleazy Berlin Stuttgarter Platz club again, where you can f**k them there in the seats, like Sissi or Monte Carlo. I WILL go back to Berlin for that hunger. Craving Fifth Avenue, Paloma, the new Brazilian, anyone. Such a hunger to fuck now. ** Got the 703pm to Charing X and straightaway thought these nightcaps are pointless, boring, don't do them anymore. But after 9pm suddenly the vibe changed and it got much more interesting. So now I have learned I need to get to the Calcutta no earlier than 9pm, then the nightcaps can become worth it.
Dozing during the night thinking so much of going to that Chinese massage place in Charing X Road, gold kimono girl massaging me naked, and then slipping her kimono off herself, felt so sexy.

Tuesday, 2 October 2018

On train home saw my sexy little Asian walking along -- platform

On train home saw my sexy little Asian walking along -- platform, black short jacket over white jumper and those skin-tight shiny black disco pants. Followed her through -- barriers and got to watch that fantastic sexy voluptuous wobbling arse in those shiny pants. Absolutely fantastic. Walking fast so I knew there would be car for her but it was not there, it caught up with her a little bit further down. A sporty black Golf, maybe then a boyfriend. At -- also the big black girl, a little smile again as my carriage passed and she glanced back towards me. What a figure.
*** Interesting reading my February 2005 diary to see my weight was 14 stone. And just a week or so ago it dipped down to 14'13 so I haven't put on much in the last 12 years! I was drinking all the time then of course, Calcutta, Sunset Cinema, Sunset Strip, Scotsman, Soho models several a week.

Monday, 1 October 2018

OK now I can get my head down and really save money. £271 put in strippers' pots this month of September

OK now I can get my head down and really save money. £271 put in strippers' pots this month of September. Stop this again. Natural I go a little bit wild when the nights get dark, and cold and rainy and foggy. I allow myself that. Now keep my head down for end of November trip to foggy Brussels. *** I have come through my inevitable September wild period, and now I can knuckle down again. Work hard on Casanova now. Realised I need to go through my diary and each chapter will be another month heading, June 2006, July 2006 etc. Become a little industry now. Another book published EVERY MONTH.