Sunday, 11 November 2018

Just a cold overcast day; little chance of it actually raining again I think unfortunately

Just a cold, overcast day; little chance of it actually raining again I think, unfortunately. By NOT eating before, it means I am going to have to stop my drinking and come back for something to eat SOONER, so that increases my chance of being able to get up and out again later for a second round. I need to buy a beer as soon as I walk in to the Cine Paris, that will FORCE me to stay there longer; therefore increasing my chance of getting turned on, despite myself. I always get turned on in in porn cinema EVENTUALLY, it’s just I always feel like walking out as soon as I walk in. Oh I just wish something could spark me to life. Wish I could be inflamed with Eros, and with Priapus, the way I am when I ANTICIPATE these journeys, but never feel it when I am actually here; or very rarely, and those are the special trips I remember for all my life. But you cannot manufacture it; it just has to happen spontaneously, out of the blue, spontaneous combustion of your erotic senses, when you least expect it. So I sit patiently, waiting for what I least expect, anxiously, mournfully. It would make more sense to do something different, go up to Rue d’Aerschot and then back to Fifth, BEFORE going in Cine Paris, so then I’ve no reason to always want to rush away from Cine Paris but I cannot do it. I know porn cinemas are best when I am really sleepy, really far gone; going to them at the START of my day is always pointless, but still I do it, every time.

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