Thursday, 23 May 2019

To consider: Do I really want to get "involved" with S--? No

To consider: Do I really want to get "involved" with S--? No. With J--? No. With B--? No. Do I yearn to be back in Fifth Avenue? Yes. Back in Manhattan? Yes. Back in Cine Paris and WSK? Yes. That is the answer.
Try The Sherlock Holmes, the Admiralty and the Nell Gwynn.
So many sexy office girls getting off the train this morning, the sailor dress peroxide blonde the best, skin-tight dress through which her TINY black knickers were visible. THIS is why I go out on my days off. I am kidding myself if I think I am going to sleep all day Wednesday. No I will be straight out to S--, Victoria, then etc. So much sexier just to sit in pubs watching girls pass in summer, than sit in dark hole of the --.

Friday, 17 May 2019

Now I feel I don’t want anything to do with -- OR S--

Now I feel I don’t want anything to do with -- OR S--. I just want to stay alone, saving my money, in my big white lovely bed. Do not let myself be lured out of the casbah.

Thursday, 16 May 2019

Average person needs £260,000 savings for retirement but if you are not a homeowner this rises to £450,000

Average person needs £260,000 savings for retirement, but if you are not a homeowner this rises to £450,000. Terrifying. And I have ZERO savings, only debt. However, WHEN I clear this debt I can then start saving. Oh but I will be renting my own place by then won't I. Not much saving happening.Terrifying. Bleak.
I wonder if -- and -- will leave me their house? That is only thing that can save my future. Their Will is only hope for saving my future life from penury.
Confused myself now. Went to -- Tuesday, for -- and to see new girls C-- & A-- but mostly hoping to see -- behind the bar. -- grinned at me as I walked in. Something in that. Skin tight blue jeans and skin tight black T-shirt really showing off her big boobs. On fourth pint "Blimey you're knocking them back! I reckon you could drink ME under the table!" "We should try that sometime". "Yea, we should!" Later "another one babes?" I wanted to ask her out but by then it was too busy and I never got chance. I think I will next time I see her. I would like to f**k her, very much.
-- very quiet and subdued, sad. Drank too much, and now don't want to go to --. That is how quickly I change my mind.
I WONDER WHAT IS IN -- AND --'S WILL. That is my only hope in life.
*** After yesterday I say don't go out, but every time you do go out you discover something new, something amazing, something you would NOT have seen if you had not gone out So Thursday off as well for a change! Where to? Back to --?
Good I am glad things are cold as ice between S-- and me now means I don't have to spend ANY money on her, on a flat, and don't have to tell her ANYTHING about my life! And I can spend hours in her company now, with NOTHING being said. Felt her glancing at my face many times today, but I just focused on the TV. Love it. The complete silence between S-- and black girl was fascinating. What the hell happened there?
I'd still f**k her though, but now she has to come to me 100%!

Sunday, 12 May 2019

So went out Friday straight from work of course

So went out Friday straight from work of course. One in Calcutta, just opened at 1240 as cleaner never came. Place going down pan. One in --. Two in --, only stayed for second because a Friday work group included one of those stunning JLT brunette types in black floral blouse open at back and mid length black trousers skin tight over most gorgeous sexy curvy arse with no knickers, bouncing bouncing buttocks. 10/10. But soon as I started second pint her and other girl left and went back to work in Leicester Square direction. Then to --, black girl joined by S-- after 315. I was tired, of course in bad mood. While starting blindly at TV screen, I felt a tap on my wrist and it was S-- "Hey! I didn't say hello." I just murmured yes but carried on staring blindly. Bad mood. Seven pints again. Madness.
This greek Alexandra, big boobs, tanned, 30s at Romilly sounds interesting, Thursday and Fridays maybe. Worth a look. Could be Andrea!
Anyway I woke up masturbating while looking at pictures of S-- and came looking at her picture, so that tells me a lot. **** Don't underestimate that S-- made physical contact with ME. She actually reached all the way over bar to touch my arm, an act of intimacy. Quite a big thing to do.

Saturday, 11 May 2019

Of course I will go straight out this Friday

Of course I will go straight out this Friday. I CANNOT lay down to sleep when I know I am heading to the pub later. Too excited, every time.

Friday, 10 May 2019

So got to Calcutta about 1210

So got to Calcutta about 1210. One in Calcutta, one in Porcupine--voluptuous girl siting eating in short summer skirt and voluptuous legs parted, as she left she walked past me and looked me directly in the eyes and I held gaze. Beautiful Indian girl on her own came in with green olive top and was eating as well. So pretty. One in -- only, as I knew today was good chance to see -- and sure enough she was there, hair gelled down to make it look so thin. Finally I asked her. Very calm, "my other half wouldn't be very pleased". And I very calmly carried on chatting. First time ever I felt no shame, embarrassment, happy I asked. Got that boil lanced!